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Thanks, Coach Tressel, for your rational methodology. The type of thinking that engineered the latest Ohio State victory and allowed thousands like me to start planning a Pasadena vacation.

Oh, I know. Your detractors don’t call it “rational methodology.” To them you’re Mr. Conservative, a title formerly reserved for another Buckeye...the late Senator Robert A. Taft. They deride you for allegedly uninspiring play calling.

Obviously they don’t know the difference between rationality, the state of having good sense and sound judgment, and conservatism, the opposition to innovation or change. Woody Hayes was conservative. You, Jim Tressel, are no Woody Hayes clone.

Let’s turn the calendar back a few days and take a look inside your rational mind as you prepare for the most important game of the Buckeyes’ season, the one in which a victory will put your squad into a BCS bowl.

You analyze the street gossip. Vegas pundits place the Bucks as a three touchdown favorite over Iowa.

The press, bloggers and fans accordingly foresee a blowout. The game as pictured by some dreamers has Terrelle Pryor passing for 200 yards and running for 100 more.

After all, Iowa’s starting quarterback is injured. Some think the freshman backup will be in tears the minute he takes the field before 105,000 fanatics. Your Bucks are coming off the sound beating of a similar team, Penn State.

Such fortunate circumstances might merit turning Terrelle Pryor loose, they whisper in your ear. Their flawed logic shrills that times like this call for someone they perceive to be Rush Limbaugh to become Al Franken.

But the cool, rational, unemotional man I picture you to be is reminding staff that an untested Southern Cal freshman led his team to victory at the ‘Shoe earlier this year.

As a part-time college professor who knows the importance of doing one’s homework, you’ve been busy studying statistics. You note that the FBS sub-division team with the most pass interceptions coming into the game is…ta da…the Iowa Hawkeyes.

You look back at recent history and recall how many times TP was picked off at Purdue, a team half as volatile as Iowa. And speaking of mistakes, you worry that Iowa doesn’t make many. It’s fifth among FBS teams in fewest penalties per game.

Then you start drafting a game plan. We’re not going to beat them passing, you muse. They’re 48th in the nation in passing offense, more than twice as proficient as we.

And even if we do go by air, they’re 10^th in the nation in passing defense. You recall that Toledo, a team OSU trounced, has one of the highest ranked passing offenses in the nation. A rare smile forms as you proclaim, “let the Hawks have the skies.”

The punting and kicking games for both teams are about even, but you fret about whether Devin Barclay will be up to the caliber of starter Aaron Pettrey, who has connected from as far away as 54 yards.

You and your assistants huddle to review team strengths and weaknesses. We’re great at rushing you’re reminded. Ranked 22nd in the nation compared to Iowa’s 98th.  And both Brandon Saine and Dan Herron are healthy.

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