Ten Sure Fire Ways to Know You Are an Iowa Hawkeye College Fooball Fan

Phil HarrisonCorrespondent INovember 12, 2009

MIAMI - JANUARY 2:  Iowa fans cheer as their team takes the field against USC during the FedEx Orange Bowl at Pro Player Stadium on January 2, 2003 in Miami, Florida.  The University of Southern California Trojans defeated the Iowa Hawkeyes 38-17.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Here is the second installment of reasons to recognize yourself as a fan of the opposition of Ohio State.  Again, disclaimer:  This is merely for fun and please do not take it to seriously.

I may take the gloves off a little more next week since it is Michigan week, but please remember that I will be publishing a "make fun of ourselves" reasons to recognize yourself as an Ohio State Fan after next week.

Without further qualifying statements, here are 10 reasons to get a pretty good idea that you might be following the Hawkeyes:

10.  Even though you are as masculine as masculine can be, you have painted your room pink to match the Iowa Hawkeye visitor's locker room.  Since the paint job has dried, you have never slept better because of the "calming effect."

9.  You are able to wear you home team jersey to a Pittsburgh Steelers bar and fit right in.  You also get many compliments on the Santanio Holmes jersey.

8.  You use cornstalks for toilet paper (You had to know there was a corn joke in there somewhere).

7.  It takes you longer to fly to a city out of state than drive because of all of the connections you have to make from your home airport.

6.  You have actually been "Cow-tipping," and enjoyed it.  Right after all of the excitement, you walked across the street to Wal-Mart to buy groceries.

5.  Your two favorite quotes include one from a passage out of the bible, and "If You Build it, They Will Come."

4.  You tailgate on the back of a combine.  The food includes bratwurst and 15 other kinds of starches.

3.  No joke:  Your alarm clock is literally a rooster crowing.  What's all this business about needing an alarm clock?

2.  Your entire state is a suburb of Chicago.

1.  You buy airfare to Pasedena and have the time of your life at the Rose Bowl.  Sadly, the rooster then crows.