After weeks of anticipation, the WWE’s latest pay-per-view, Tables, Ladders, and Chairs (oh my) is upon us.
There are several quality matches scheduled, but the one match that most people are buzzing about is the Fatal Four Way Table Match for the ECW Championship.
The WWE doesn’t think highly enough of the ECW Title to make it a full TLC match, so the WWE Universe has to settle for a Table Match.
In that match, ECW Champion Christian defends his title against William Regal, Shelton Benjamin, and JOHN CENA!!!
The first match of the night is between Dolph Ziggler and Shawn Mich….I mean John Morrison for the Intercontinental Title.
The two men trade blows for a good ten to twelve minutes. Throughout the course of the match Morrison is compared to HBK an astounding 152 times. The match reaches its climax when Morrison shines a light off of his washboard abs, temporarily blinding Ziggler. He follows it up with a Moonlight Drive and Starship Pain for the win.
Next we have a backstage segment with Chris Jericho and Josh Matthews.
Matthews asks Jericho his thoughts on the upcoming tag match between DX and JeriShow:
Jericho: I will prove to all these cretins and parasites why I am the best in the world at what I do and—hey, what are you doing!?!
Matthews: (touching the frozen tips of Jericho’s hair) You know, you look a lot like Goku. Can you do a kamehameha please?
Jericho: How dare you disrespect me, I am the best in the world, I have no equal!
Matthews: Oh my goodness, (seeing Big Show emerge) you brought Nappa!! You know you’re awfully angry for a little guy, I think you’re more like Vegeta than Goku.
A stunned Matt Striker finally gathers himself and welcomes the audience to a special pay-per-view addition of the Abraham Washington Show, with his special guest John Cena!
Tony Atlas introduces Abe to a chorus of boos.
Abe talks about how great it is to be San Antonio, and tells the audience how he’s been so excited he’s had trouble getting sleep. Of course Abe’s solution to get some sleep was to take in a Spurs game before the pay-per-view.
After having some more fun at the crowd’s expense, he begins to play up tonight’s guest.
“My guest tonight is a man who really needs no introduction. He is a successful rapper as well as a growing movie star! Ladies and gentleman, please welcome my guest Eminem!! Nah, I’m playin, we got the poor man’s Eminem, John Cena!”
John Cena comes out to yet another high-pitched pop. Cena salutes the crowd, and finally settles into his seat.
Abe: Hey John, just because you played a marine in a movie doesn’t mean you have to act like that in real life.
Tony: (uncontrollable laughter)
Abe: Hey Tony, speaking of movies...if John Cena makes a movie and nobody sees it, did it really happen?
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