1. New Orleans Saints
Last Week: 1
Their win this week was more about Carolina’s stubborn determination to lose the game than about the Saints winning. But they’re still the best team in the NFL.
2. Indianapolis Colts
Last Week: 2
The Colts didn’t look great, but they beat the Texans. I think this might be the end of the Reggie Wayne Quarterback Experience, though.
3. Minnesota Vikings
Last Week: 3
The Vikings were on their bye this week, which gave them time to heal up and reflect on the fact that Tarvaris Jackson isn’t playing quarterback for them this year.
4. Pittsburgh Steelers
Last Week: 4
Is that last year’s Super Bowl winners finally returning to the NFL? Well…At least in the second half it was.
5. New England Patriots
Last Week: 5
After last season, the Patriots weren’t about to get beaten by the Dolphins this year. The beat goes on in Boston.
6. Cincinnati Bengals
Last Week: 7
There’s no doubt any more that the Bengals are for real this year. Another convincing win. Dare I say that the NFL should just be ready to pucker up and kiss the baby?
7. Dallas Cowboys
Last Week: 9
Few teams are hotter right now than the Cowboys, and few players more than Miles Austin. Still, I can’t trust anything that Wade Phillips does, even when he’s winning.
8. Denver Broncos
Last Week: 6
Another loss and the Broncos are suddenly fighting to hold off the hard-charging Chargers. Again. Which makes me wonder why they even bothered to make those personnel and coaching changes.
9. San Diego Chargers
Last Week: 12
They’re not perfect, but they’re playing well enough to get things done. Still, you can’t go 80 yards to win every week.
10. Atlanta Falcons
Last Week: 13
I don’t know if I should be impressed that Mike Smith took a swing at DeAngelo Hall or not. I’m going to err on the side of “not” however, because it was a pretty lame punch, and Hall was wearing a helmet, so what was Smith planning on doing exactly?
11. Philadelphia Eagles
Last Week: 8
A tough loss compounded by the fact that the NFC East is wide open again. Might it be time to make the move to Michael Vick at quarterback? (No.)
12. New York Giants
Last Week: 10
The cold streak in New York continues. The only solace Giants fans can take from this one is that Eli has more Super Bowl rings than Rivers.
13. Baltimore Ravens
Last Week: 11
Baltimore’s defense clearly isn’t the powerhouse it once was. But more curious is the seeming regression of Joe Flacco.
14. Houston Texans
Last Week: 17
How do you jump three spots after a loss? Well, everybody behind them is terrible, and the Texans at least gave the Colts a run for their money.
15. Miami Dolphins
Last Week: 15
Say what you will, but the Wildcat was one of the few things that actually worked, if briefly, against the Patriots. Chad Henne isn’t quite ready for a playoff run.
16. Arizona Cardinals
Last Week: 19
I guess that Kurt Warner abomination from last week was just a one game deal? I haven’t seen Kurt look this sharp since he won that grocery bagging championship a few years back.
17. Chicago Bears
Last Week: 16
The Bears defense looks like it’s given up on the season. Even they know that Jay Cutler isn’t going to be enough to salvage this team.
18. New York Jets
Last Week: 18
I hope they used the bye week to recalibrate, because their fall from the top has somehow been even more precipitous than the Giants’.
19. Green Bay Packers
Last Week: 14
Oh how the average have fallen. After spending most of the season looking as if they’d be competitive, if not very good, any hope the Packers had for this season was driven into the ground by a creamsicle nightmare.
20. San Francisco 49ers
Last Week: 29
Remember when we thought that Isaac Bruce wasn’t old and washed up? Wait…we never really thought that.
21. Buffalo Bills
Last Week: 20
Well, at least Jarius Byrd is coming to play. But it’s Week 8, and all this popcorn is getting moldy.
22. Carolina Panthers
Last Week: 22
Nobody wants to see a player get injured, but I have to feel like Thomas Davis is a little relieved that he doesn’t have to play for the Panthers.
23. Seattle Seahawks
Last Week: 24
A second half run is still conceivable, but I’m not about to hang my hat on an offense led by Julius Jones and T.J. Houshmandzadeh. Mostly because I’m not sure how you’d hang a hat on an offense.
24. Jacksonville Jaguars
Last Week: 23
I think fans in Los Angeles are more excited at the prospect of a UFL expansion than they are about the idea of getting the Jaguars. And rightfully so.
25. Tennessee Titans
Last Week: 26
The whole, no matter how terrible he is, Vince Young just wins games thing is so weird, I can’t even give the Titans credit for this winning streak. Maybe next week.
26. Oakland Raiders
Last Week: 25
The big news out of the Raiders this week was that Darren McFadden is jogging in practice again, and a guy with 15 career catches will probably play. This…is Raiders football.
27. St. Louis Rams
Last Week: 27
Hey, they finally got their first win, they’re feeling good after their bye week, let’s take a look at the ol’ schedule and see who they’re playing this week! The Saints? Oh.
28. Kansas City Chiefs
Last Week: 29
By cutting Larry Johnson, the Chiefs have finally accomplished what my Fantasy team did six weeks ago.
29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Last Week: 32
BUCS WIN! BUCS WIN! BUCS WIN! Do you believe in miracles? Do you believe that Josh Freeman actually looked like a run-of-the-mill NFL Quarterback?!
30. Detroit Lions
Last Week: 28
Back to the cellar for the Lions, who must now fight off rumors that Calvin Johnson and Matthew Stafford aren’t playing nice in the locker room. I’m going to pin this one on future NFL Hall of Famer, Drew Stanton.
31. Washington Redskins
Last Week: 30
Before you start talking trash, DeAngelo Hall, you might want to consider two things. 1. You are the only Redskins player on the Falcons sideline. And 2. The Redskins are really, really terrible.
32. Cleveland Browns
Last Week: 30
Hello again, old friend. Welcome back to last place. I think you’ll be enjoying a stay here for a while.