Six Points on the Cleveland Browns (Nov. 11)

Christopher Maher by Correspondent Written on November 11, 2009
CLEVELAND - OCTOBER 04:  A fan of the Cleveland Browns cheers on his team as they play the Cincinnati Bengals at Cleveland Browns Stadium on October 4, 2009 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images) Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

1. Welcome to Six Points on the Browns.

Opponents score six regularly on Cleveland's once-proud football team, so in these times, I'm keeping my brain working and hitting the intertubes so you don't have to. Enjoy.

 

2. ESPN's Adam Shechter is reporting the Browns will name Brandy Queen the starting QB for the Baltimore game.

Good luck with that. Both QBs suck.

 

3. With no one to catch the ball, a running back who holds a Golden Buckeye Card and only 60 percent of an offensive line, you could resurrect Johnny Unitas and not expect much better results than we've seen in yet another Season of Suck.

 

4. Brian Daboll has taken a lot of heat as offensive coordinator, and maybe he was not qualified for the gig in the first place.

Before he was anointed as OC by Eric Mangini, he spent one year as quarterback coach to Brett Favre.

That would be akin to promoting me to head of marketing at a corporation if I was lucky enough to spend a year as Michelangelo's production manager.

 

5. Ever see the movie "Groundhog Day," where every day is the same?

When did the QB controversy start? Well over a year ago?

Well, to distract the great unwashed masses from the overall dysfunction and suckitude of the franchise, let's start the QB controversy up again!

Yeah, THAT'S the ticket!

And while Randy Lerner is looking for a new Grand Poohbah, he should place a call to Joe Isuzu to handle marketing.

 

6. I will stop referring to a certain bust from Notre Dame as "Brandy Queen" when he completes a pass of over 10 yards to one of his own players.

I certainly do not see myself referencing an old Manfred Mann tune any time soon.

 

EXTRA POINT: I got this format from Patrick McManamon of the once-great Akron Beacon Journal , who has a column/blog called "First and Ten with the Browns."

There, I gave credit where it was due.

McManamon was the first writer in this region to call for the scalp of Eric Mangini, left the Beacon to work for the Browns for a year, returned, and is obviously not enthralled with anything Brown.

Neither am I.

Why are there only six items instead of ten? Well, you get what you pay for.

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written on November 11, 2009 Opinion

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