Evil Genius Mike Slive and the Great SEC Conspiracy Theory (Humor)

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On Saturday at Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, Alabama fought off a battered LSU team to claim the Western Division crown in the SEC for the second consecutive year, setting up a rematch with top-ranked Florida in the championship game.

With zeroes left on the clock, the scoreboard read Alabama 24, LSU 15. 

I was fortunate enough to attend the game, in perhaps the rowdiest Tuscaloosa atmosphere in 15 years. 

The game was as the past two Bama-LSU matchups were-close and hard-hitting.  LSU and Alabama both made many key plays, but Alabama made a few more down the stretch to claim the victory.

However, the national and local media has decided that the focus on the game should be the controversial incomplete pass that looked like it could have been an interception by LSU cornerback Patrick Peterson in the fourth quarter.

Trailing by six with time leaking from the clock, LSU covered a called roll-out by quarterback Greg McElroy very well.  Attempting to squeeze the ball into the hands of Julio Jones, McElroy fired a pass that was on the boundary, only to see Peterson lunge in front of Jones for the pick.

After a short delay, officials on the field ruled the ball incomplete, much to the chagrin of the LSU sideline, which was frantically claiming that Peterson came up with the ball in bounds.  The officials turned it over to the replay booth, which confirmed the ruling on the field.

Without the benefit of a replay for those actually in the stadium, this appeared to be another close play that could have gone either way.  Television replays would tell a different story.

As an admitted Alabama fan, I can say with near certainty that the call was missed.  I don't really understand why the play wasn't reversed.  I watched the replay several times late that night, trying to see what the replay official saw, and was unable to come up with anything.

I assume that the replay officials know how to do their job better than I do, and that Peterson gained full control of the ball as his foot tapped the ground, too close to call if the foot was in-bounds or not.

Oh well, I thought, that was a nice break in a close game.

What I didn't expect, and what continues to amuse me, are the outlandish conspiracy theories that have been hatched by this particular play. 

Evidently, the media, along with several factions of SEC fan bases have decided that this was just the latest in a sinister plan by the SEC brass to assure an Alabama-Florida rematch in December.

Really?

Like most other moderately sensible people, I chuckled at this notion when it was first mentioned following the Arkansas-Florida game, when a ridiculous personal foul was whistled on Arkansas late in a very tight game.

The whispers gathered more momentum in the next weeks, when Florida was the beneficiary of non-reversal of a fumble against Mississippi State.  Add in Tennessee head coach Lane Kiffin's whining, sniveling comments following their game with Alabama about the discrepancy in penalties called. 

People were even claiming that Alabama defensive tackle Terrence Cody should have been flagged for a personal foul when he removed his helmet after his victory-clinching block.

The murmurs have now become a full uproar following the controversial call on the boundary in Tuscaloosa on Saturday.

On ESPN's "Around the Horn", while the talking heads debated the Great Conspiracy, the headline at the bottom of the screen read "LSU ROBBED?".  Later, on ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption", the analysts laid claim to the validity of the Conspiracy.

So let me get this straight....

Somewhere, in a dark room in the SEC offices, commissioner Mike Slive must have met with the SEC head of officiating Rogers Redding and had a conversation that MUST have gone something like this:

Scene: Mike Slive sits in his office chair in his lair, I mean office, dressed in an all-white suit.  A hairless cat reclines in his lap.  Slive extends his little finger on his right hand to his mouth, and....

SLIVE: "Listen, Rogers.  I've got a plan to make sure we get Alabama and Florida back in the SEC Championship game, and help us achieve national dominance and BILLIONS of dollars. Billions! This has to work!  I'm not sure if the conference's foundations will hold if another team makes it in.  But I need your help."

REDDING: "Hmmmm....devious. I'm listening."

SLIVE: "Okay, here's what we're gonna do.  I need your officials to make sure that every close call goes in favor of Alabama and Florida in their games.  Even if it's a replay decision, we need you to rule in favor of Alabama or Florida. 

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