An Interview With Roger Federer, but First...(Humor)

Robert OrzechowskiAnalyst INovember 9, 2009

BASEL, SWITZERLAND - NOVEMBER 08:  Roger Federer of Switzerland plays a backhand in his match against Novak Djokovic of Serbia in the final during Day Seven of the Davidoff Swiss Indoors Tennis at St Jakobshalle on November 8, 2009 in Basel, Switzerland.  (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
Julian Finney/Getty Images

Radio Interviewer: Welcome ladies and gentleman to Bleacher Report Radio. I am Herb Avor and we have with us live in studio—the great Roger Federer. Welcome Roger!

Roger Federer: Thank you Herb, it is great to be here.

Radio Interviewer: We want to ask Roger some great tennis questions and probe his mind on several issues on the sport but first a word from one of our sponsors—Barely Sports.

Lady Voice: Are you feeling lonely tonight? In need of HOT tennis action? Why not call Barely Sports where barely legals are wearing barely anything at all. Call now and let the Tennis lingerie fall where it may—dial now 1-900-LOVE-LOVE.

Second commercial:

Teen Voice: I had to stay in because I was grounded by my parents for excessive partying.  That's OK because there is a party right here on my phone. If you are home alone right now watching tennis, come on and join the fun. 

Lie about your age, weight, hairline, and marital status and get in on the action.   Call 1-999-TENNIS-SHOTS.  Long distance charges may apply. 

Radio Interviewer: All right, we are back with Roger Federer. Roger, how are you feeling these days?

Roger Federer: Well, I would feel better if I did not have to hear those commercials, you know?

Radio Interviewer: Hey Rog, no problem at all. During the next break, just take those headphones that you are wearing off and presto! We got to pay the bills around here, Rog. Now let's take a call or two. Hi caller, you are on the air.

Caller One: Oh yeah hi...umm...I was wondering how I could get a hold of that sweet babe that was talking about tennis shots. Dude, she was hot.

Roger Federer: Yeah, well we are not here to talk about "Babes." I am here to talk about tennis. I am married and have twin girls and of course being Roger Federer, I like to talk about tennis, you know?

Caller One: Dude, you are THE Roger Federer?

Roger Federer: Yeah, that's me!

Caller One: Wow, well there is something I want to ask you.

Radio Interviewer: Go ahead caller one.

Caller One: I was just know that woman that designs your clothing for you know, like the US Open?

Roger Federer: That would be Anna Wintour

Caller One: That cougar is you think you could get me her number...I heard all about these older chicks. They are wild for some young heat...b*tchin, man!

Roger Federer: OK, I think this was a big mistake.

Radio Interviewer: Hold on there, Roger! We have to take a short break and we will be right back after this.

Silky Lady Voice: What happens when you put teens and tennis together? You get "Teenis." We all know that Teenis rhymes with...Venus of course! Oh, you naughty guys you thinking of that other word. 

Call now and listen to me saying hot tennis phrases like SMASH IT!!  SMASH IT!!  BREAK ME!!  COME ON!  ACE, DOWN THE MIDDLE! CALL ME NOW at 1-910-TAMMY-TEENIS. $25/minute.

Radio Interviewer: We are back and Roger has left the building folks, but don't worry we got plenty of hot commercials to go around and if you don't get enough, visit our website and check out our sponsors who have nothing to do with sports nor do they have any interest in it. 

Remember, the great thing about tennis is that every nine games or so, you get a new set of balls! Until next time, so long!