And The Rivalry Never Ends...a Homage to Yankee and Red Sox Fans

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And The Rivalry Never Ends...a Homage to Yankee and Red Sox Fans
Jared Wickerham/Getty Images

Characters

Marie Henry – 27

Officer Kathleen Christiano – 35

Joe Girardi – 45

 

(A mangled vehicle on the side of the

Cross County Parkway.  Late November

4th, 2009)

  

MARIE

          (Stunned)

Uhhh…

 

JOE GIRARDI enters SL, making his way

through the mangled metal.

 

JOE

          (Mouthing)

Are you ok?

 

MARIE

          (Slowly moves head left)

Whaa?

 

JOE

          (Mouthing)

Are you…wait…

          (Picks up a rock, still mouthing)

Turn your head…

 

MARIE

          (Confused)

Whaa?

 

JOE

          (Mouthing)

TURN YOUR HEAD!!!

 

MARIE

Why didn’t you just say so?

 

MARIE turns her head.

JOE GIRARDI breaks the driver’s side

window.

 

JOE

Mam!

          (Checking her vitals)

Are you ok?

 

MARIE

          (Moving her arms slowly)

Just a little stunned.

 

JOE

          (Checking vitals)

Try to stay still until the police get here.

 

JOE GIRARDI pulls out his cell phone

and dials. Puts phone on speaker phone

as he tries to help MARIE. RINGING is

heard.

 

 

MARIE

          (Glimmer of recognition)

Hey…aren’t you…

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Westchester County police

 

JOE

          (Adrenalized)

Hey! I was driving up the Cross County and saw this accident on the side of the road.

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Name?

 

JOE

Joe Girardi.  The accident is at mile marker…

 

MARIE, still laying there is

shocked.

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Shut the hell up!

 

JOE

Whaa?

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Manager of the New York Yankees, Joe Girardi?

 

 

JOE

Umm, yeah.

 

MARIE

I know. I’m laying right here and I can’t believe it myself.

 

JOE

Officer…

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

I just saw you on TV

 

MARIE

Me too!

 

JOE

Officer?

 

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Christiano.

 

JOE

There’s a woman trapped in a car here.

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Mam. Are you ok?

 

MARIE

Oh yeah!  I’m just stunned…stunned that Joe Girardi is standing in front of my freakin’ face!

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

I know! How cool is that?

 

JOE

I hate to interrupt you ladies, but her vitals seem to be fine.  There’s no visible signs of bleeding, but she is sitting in glass so I’m afraid to move her.

 

MARIE

Manager of the World Series Champion New York Yankees and he’s a regular Doctor House.

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Is there anything you can’t do?

 

JOE

Ladies, I’m super flattered but this isn’t about me.

 

OFFICER and MARIE start giggling.

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Heh, Heh!  Don’t worry Miss…

 

MARIE

Henry, Marie Henry.

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Miss Henry. We are about 2 minutes away.  The most important thing I need you to do is not move…

 

MARIE

He said that too!

 

OFFICER and MARIE giggle more.

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Another good call by Girardi!

 

 

MARIE

          (Full out laughing)

Come on though! He doesn’t do Rocket Science.

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Yeah, he hasn’t seen Rocket Science in the locker room, since Clemens got in trouble with Congress.

 

MARIE

With that payroll, I can manage a team to a World Series too!

 

OFFICER is full out laughing.

 

MARIE

          (Overlap)

And I was last in my fantasy baseball league!

 

OFFICER and MARIE crack up.

 

MARIE

          (Holding her side)

That hurts.

 

JOE

Hey! Watch it!

 

MARIE

          (Trying to contain her laughter)

Sorry man…

 

JOE

          (Starting to get pissed)

I just ran across a major highway…

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over)

Just joshin’ ya man

 

JOE 

          (Overlapl, more intense)

To see if you were alright.

 

MARIE

Easy buddy!

 

JOE

          (Overlap, freaking out)

I could have been killed!

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over, mocking)

Oooh!  The Evil Empire comes off its pedestal for once and we’re supposed to be soooo greatful.

 

JOE

Buddy! That’s not what I mean.

 

OFFICER

          (Voice Over, Defensive)

Ahem! That is Officer Kathleen Christiano to you.

          (After thought)

Let’s go Sox!

 

MARIE

Oh my God! You too?!

 

JOE

          (Defeated)

I should get going…

 

MARIE

          (Disappointed)

Wow! Win a World Series and lose all your humor…

 

A Police Car Pulls up.

FLASHING LIGHTS are seen.

 

JOE

Finally…

 

OFFICER

          (Over a Bullhorn)

Derek!  Derek!

 

MARIE

          (Overlap)

Derek! Derek!

 

JOE

THAT’S IT! I’m out of here!  You people are nuts.

 

JOE GIRARDI storms off.

OFFICER walks up to the car.

 

OFFICER

Mam!  Are you ok?

 

MARIE

Fine.  I’ll be fine.

 

OFFICER

SO! How about that Pedro tonight?

 

MARIE

Talk about getting rid of him in the nick of time!

 

 

OFFICER

Derek!  Derek!

 

MARIE

          (Overlap)

Derek! Derek!

 

The OFFICER and MARIE begin to

laugh.

 

BLACKOUT

 

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