The TCU Horned Frogs and the UNLV Rebels will face off in a Halloween showdown in Fort Worth.
The national spotlight found TCU last weekend, and they reveled in it. After pasting the overmatched BYU Cougars in Provo, the Frogs return home, looking to feast on a vulnerable opponent.
TCU is an overwhelming favorite. Compared to struggling UNLV, they have demonstrated an unmistakable superiority in every aspect of the game. Their defensive strength is staggering. Their offensive firepower is formidable. Their return game is electric.
They have revealed no flaws and appear to be building momentum as the season progresses.
This game is a mismatch, in every sense of the word.
Rather than wrestle with an in-depth breakdown of an obviously lopsided matchup, I’ve decided to take a more festive approach.
In the spirit of All Hallow’s Eve, I have compiled a list of appropriate TCU and/or UNLV-related Halloween costume suggestions.
For TCU: Kermit the Frog
Kermit the Frog is one of the most beloved characters of the 20th century. Kermit has a lot going for him. He is held in high regard by multiple generations. He's loved by children, adults, and female pigs.
Despite Kermit’s many distinguishing achievements and near universal respect, he is often remembered as a melancholy vocalist.
Kermit famously intoned, “It’s not easy being green.”
Perhaps Kermit should try being purple.
First of all, purple doesn’t exactly enhance one’s street cred. In addition, Gary Patterson’s purple horned frogs have found difficulty garnering the respect they deserve.
For a team and a coach looking for a fair shake on the national scene, whether purple or green, it’s not easy being a frog.
For UNLV: Rocky Balboa
Mike Sanford will likely be pulling every motivational string he can get his hands on this weekend. A Rebel victory would be an upset for the ages, rivaling the stunning outcome of David over Goliath.
The Rebels need to buckle their underdog pants, watch Rocky IV, remember the Alamo, cross their fingers, and hope for a monumentally surprising conquest.
After all, Jerry Hughes is an intimidating athlete, but he’s no Ivan Drago.
For UNLV: Kate Hudson
Blond Wig + Yankee Cap + Deer in Headlights Stare = Perfect Halloween costume for Rebel fans.
Why Kate Hudson?
Kate Hudson is the quintessential Hollywood example of a boom or bust actress. Throughout her career, Hudson has compiled a stinking heap of malodorous, romantic comedy garbage.
For one film, however, everything came perfectly together for Hudson. Her interpretation of Penny Lane in Almost Famous earned her an Oscar nomination and a Golden Globe for best supporting actress. It was an excellent and memorable performance amidst a career of substance-less rubbish.
The Rebels would need an inexplicable, out-of-character, Penny Lane-esque effort to pull the upset.
For TCU: Pirate
Not long ago, the Rebels were floundering in the midst of a four game losing streak.
Coach Sanford is hoping last weekend's victory over New Mexico has righted the ship.
The Horned Frogs will be looking to blow them out of the water.
Along the same lines, a vampire costume would also do the trick, as TCU may just suck the life right out of the Rebels' season.
For TCU: Coach Herman Boone, Remember the Titans
Racial overtones aside, the similarities between Denzel Washington's Titans and Gary Patterson's Frogs are unremarkable and silly, but I'll list a few anyway.
Both teams boast powerhouse defenses. Both teams pursue a perfect season. Both teams feature a disgruntled running back turned defensive superstar (Petey and Jerry Hughes).
To continue to climb the BCS rankings, the Horned Frogs need to make a statement each time they take the field.
They must ensure that each and every week, their opponent will remember FOREVER the night the played the Titans. I mean, the Horned Frogs.
For UNLV: Shark
The Rebels need some mojo. They need some swagger, some confidence, and a large chunk of luck.
There may not be a better good karma, good feeling-inducing figure involved with UNLV than Mr. Jerry Tarkanian. He may not have anything to do with football, but Las Vegas loves him.
An actual shark costume, or just a towel-chewing shark imitation, can only lead to positive things.
Grandmama can be substituted with similar results if in a pinch.
For UNLV: The Headless Horseman
The story of Ichabod Crane is a Halloween classic. Thoughts of the Headless Horseman send shivers down spines everywhere.
The head of a football team is the head coach. Technically, UNLV has a head coach, but Sanford is hanging by a thread. Barring a miraculous late season push, he won't be retained.
Perhaps a more appropriate twist on this costume concept would be Nearly Headless Nick, of Harry Potter fame.
For TCU: Jan Brady
Poor Jan. Underrated attractiveness, but always overshadowed by older sister Marsha.
NCAA football in the state of Texas is a modern-day Brady Bunch. Houston is Cindy. Texas Tech is Greg. Texas A&M is Bobby. Rice is Oliver, the neighbor kid.
Texas is Marsha, and TCU is Jan.
Unless Marsha takes another football directly to the nose, TCU, sadly, will be perpetually overlooked.
Even an 80-point massacre of UNLV would come without fanfare.
All of the collective Las Vegas mojo of Jerry Tarkanian, Larry Johnson, Terry Fator, and Wayne Newton combined wouldn't help the Rebels overcome the balanced, powerful, explosive Horned Frog football team. It won't be pretty for UNLV fans.