Take Em' To The Bank: Stone Cold, 100 Percent Solid Weekend Predictions

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Take Em' To The Bank: Stone Cold, 100 Percent Solid Weekend Predictions
(Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Please note before we begin, that this article could help you not only gain new friends, but also give you the capacity to run right by your co-workers in Fantasy Leagues (much like Georgia Tech will do Saturday), all whilst wooing members of the opposite sex with your (my) outstanding prognostication skills .

Really, truly, honestly, sincerely....I should start placing disgustingly large amounts of money on my weekend picks.

Don't believe me?

As proof of my outstanding clairvoyance and keen observation, I put forth to you my record in my Yahoo.com College Football Pick Em' league.

59-33.

That's right.

59-33. Against the spread.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I feel like that's pretty darn good. As in, getting-beat-up-in-a-back-room-in-Vegas-because-I-won-too-much-money good.

Therefore, since I have been thus far master of Pick 'Em, I hereby present to you, dear readers, my Stone Cold 100 Percent Solid Picks of the week, a new article in which I will pick the best, biggest, and brightest games of the week (in my opinion) and tell you, with absolute certainty, the outcome.

Anyways, without further ado...Let's begin!

Florida vs. Georgia

Now, many of you may think I have totally lost my marbles, and that may well be the case. But I actually see this as a pretty close game.

Not only is UGA coming off a bye week, but this is the healthiest the Dawgs have been all year. Defensively, Georgia struggles. Offensively? Florida has been struggling of late.

Which unit gets on track this weekend in the annual World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party?

The UGA defense, who are playing the rest of the season for Willy M.'s job.

Also, has it been the same Tim Tebow since the vicious hit at Kentucky?

Stone Cold Lock: Florida wins, but no way do they cover that line that currently stands at UF -15.5.

South Carolina at Tennessee

Will the real Jonathan Crompton please stand up? 

Merely two short weeks after Crompton and his dirty looking moustache embarrassed the Rocky Top faithful with woeful back-to-back performances against UCLA and UF, (zero Touchdowns, five Interceptions and a 53 percent completion percentage), he shape-shifted into a Peyton Manning prototype and absolutely torched UGA for 310 yards and four TD's.

He followed that up with a near-upset of No. 2 ranked Alabama—one that was only prevented in the final seconds by NT Terrence Cody's block of a 40-yard field goal.

So, how does the unreliable Crompton perform against a Gamecocks team with a top 15 defense?

Who knows?

The better question is whether or not the Ole Ball Coach can bring his team into Orange Land and win against a Tennessee team that is playing good football for the first time in three years.

My answer?

No.

Stone Cold Lock : Tennessee wins, and covers that measly -5.5 line.

USC at Oregon

While Southern Cal is a current 3.5 point favorite, I see all bets being off by Saturday.

If the current line stands, however, I would certainly favor Oregon to pull off a mild upset in that wild mosh pit known as the Autzen Zoo.

Oregon's blitzkreig of offense lately has overshadowed some pretty good performances by their D, especially against Cal, UCLA, and Washington.

I look for USC to struggle on offense in the raucous atmosphere in Eugene, and I also predict the Ducks will wear something hideous and appalling.

Stone Cold Lock: Oregon with the upset, staying undefeated in the Pac-10 and remaining the team with the crappiest uniforms in college football.

Texas at Okie State

As a loyal Georgia Tech fan, I really, really want the Cowboys to crush the overrated Horns and drop them to about 25th in the AP.

However, as a brilliant yet humble predictor of all things college football, I see Texas winning in a game that contains surprisingly more defense than Big 12 fans are used to; and maybe even a punt or three.

As for that Texas -10 line however, well, that one's gonna be pretty tough to cover, pilgrim, especially against a quarterback like Zac Robinson who carries a gaudy rating of 158.3.

Stone Cold Lock: Texas wins, but it's pretty close. The Cowboys win if the entire defense sits in a dark room and meditates on keeping Jordan Shipley out of the end zone.

The Academic-Quiz-Mensa Bowl: Georgia Tech at Vandy

Can Georgia Tech and Paul Johnson keep on trucking towards a possible date with the BCS and the best record in school history? Um, yeah.

In what is my easiest pick this week, Wishbone U. and their Biletnikoff Finalist BeBe beat Vandy in a game that is close at first, but sees Paul Johnson's offense do more of the same in the second half.

Vandy can beat that +11.5 line by playing disciplined defense and scoring on defense and special teams, because that offense ain't scaring nobody and made UGA look like Ditka's Bears.

Key for Tech is controlling the time of possession and not letting Vandy's anemic offense break out for some big plays. Also, it would be nice if Tech didn't pull a South Carolina and give up a 99 yard kickoff return like the Gamecocks did last week against Vandy.

Stone Cold Lock: Tech wins, and beats the line handily.

Well, that's about all I have for today, but if there is a game that I didn't pick and you would like me to, or if you just think I'm wrong about everything, just comment and let me know!

 

 

 

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