The Word from Jones Town

Gene StrotherCorrespondent IIIOctober 23, 2009

ARLINGTON, TX - AUGUST 21:  Dallas Cowboys team owner Jerry Jones looks on during a preseason game against the Tennessee Titans at Dallas Cowboys Stadium on August 21, 2009 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

JoneSpeak is a tricky language to learn. You have to listen closely—or be very drunk—to make any sense of it at all.

Happily, I am fluent in the language and offer a mini-course to those interested in learning it (for a nominal fee, of course). However, the learning curve can be brutal, so I also offer my services as an interpreter for those who simply haven't the time or the recessive idiot gene to learn JoneSpeak for themselves.

Here is the latest sample of my work...


What He Said

“Coming off this bye, I think we’ll be fresh, and certainly we all recognize we’ve got an opportunity here to really create some, perceived by our fans and by other people, some real credibility if we could come in here and beat the Falcons. We should be prepared and we need to win it.”

What He Meant

“That ridiculous excuse for a head coach better get this team ready for once and bring home a victory or I’m gonna…well, I ain’t gonna do nothin’, ’cause he’s the perfect Pinocchio. He thinks he’s a real coach. Hahahaha.”


What I Think About What He Said

Makes sense.


What I Think About What He Meant

Makes perfect sense.


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