Dear Mr. Snyder,
I am interested in the position of Washington Redskins Head Coach. I feel that I am highly qualified for this position because I truely love the Redskins. I bleed Burgandy and Gold.
Like your current Head Coach, I do not possess professional head coaching experience at the NFL level. I do have experience in coaching youth sports such as football, flag football, track and little league baseball.
I believe that I can bring our team back to its prominence and glory and make it a feared member of the NFC East. Remember how it was back in the 80's? I would like to offer my abilities in motivating individuals for the betterment of the team.
I wlll accept a minuscule salary of only three times my current wages ($150,000.00). Oh, and bonuses for playoff contention, making a playoff game, winning a playoff game, winning all playoff games, going to the 2011 Super Bowl, Winning the 2011 Super Bowl. I also believe players should recieve bonuses for making the 2011 Pro Bowl.
Please feel free to review my attached resume and operational plans for the upcoming season.
Seeking one year employment (with option to extend employment beyond the one year term).
Professional Coaching Experience:
Amateur Coaching Experience
Three years coaching youth track and field, ages 6 - 15 for local Hawaii track meets. Accomplishments: gold medal winners (60 over 3 years), silver medal winners (75+ over 3 years), bronze medal winners (90 over 3 years). Speed is key to success.
Football coaching experience: Running my nine-year-old daughter through offensive line techniques and footwork, tight end drills, pass-catching drills, blocking drills, defensive line drills (teaching proper tackling form), speed and agility drills, and fumble recovery drills. Coaching my 8 year old daugher through outside linebacker/defensive end drills (focusing on running back/quarterback containment, blitzing, pass coverage, and proper tackling form). Overall football performance, speed-and-agility drills and turnover drills.
Three years experience coaching little league baseball: Basics and fundamentals of baseball for both my daughters' teams (fielding, catching, batting, and basic footwork).
Teaching all participants of the various sports the basic skills necessary to enjoy a safe and fun event. Team-first before individual performance is a must for any team sport. Strength and conditioning is a must for all sports so that the players can continue to participate injury-free, from start to finish.
Safely have a fun and enjoyably competitive team. Speed is the key to the teams success.
FOR REDSKINS FOOTBALL
Offensive Line is the key to offensive performance. Protect the quarterback and open holes for the running backs.
Quarterback: Strong Leader, needs to be able to read the defense, have a quick release, accurate with his delivery, and know the offensive plays. Must be confident, courageous, and not afraid of failure.
Running back: Must be quick, strong, and fast. Must have great agility, ability to block, ability to find the holes, good hands, ability to hold ball. Must not go down on the first hit.
Tight ends: Must be quick, strong, and have good agility. Must be able to block. Must have great hands.
Wide recievers: Must be quick, fast, have great agility. MUST POSSESS GREAT HANDS. Speed and blocking are musts.
We will be a speed-power run team. Will have the ability to generate points from the pass. The pass will compliment the run.
Will switch between a 4-3 and 3-4 defense. I am aggressive by nature and would like to bring many blitzes.
D-Line: Must be big, aggressive, fast and strong. Our motto will be "Kill the ball carrier."
Linebackers: Must be quick, fast, strong, and agressive. Again, "Kill the ball carrier."
Safeties: Must be fast, quick, fast, strong, oh did I mention, fast.
Corners: Fast, with great agility, fast, quick, oh and fast. Their motto? Kill the receiver. Well, within five yards of the line of scrimage.
Must be quick, fast, and strong.
Mr. Daniel Snyder, here is my cover letter and related resume for the future opening of Redskins Head Coach.