Chairman of the Bored

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Chairman of the Bored
(Photo by Paul Kane/Getty Images)

I hear you groaning. I hear you saying, "Ah, it's that mad guy again come to argue about how much T20 reeks and how much ODI rules and how much the India Australia series should entertain."

Well, breathe your sigh of relief because this is not that kind of an article, though it is on similar lines. Wow, that's a big sigh!

Once upon a time, I was sitting with my friend and watching a cricket match. We were actually bouncing on our behinds waiting to see what happens next and our eyes went as dry as the Sahara due to the lack of blinking. Even the biggest Subway sandwich wouldn't disturb our dog-like concentration.

Fast forward a few months ahead, and I'm sitting and watching a match alone when that same friend comes in. He comes in, sits down and joins me. After a few minutes I yawn. Not the big one, just a small one and my manners made me cover my mouth as soon as possible.

Boundaries were hit, wickets were taken. We had seen the same thing happening just about a week back but in a different country. Being the staunch lover of the game, that didn't depress me. Though, I was pretty bored.

My friend on the other hand, wasn't as etiquette driven as me. He yawned, and it was huge. He didn't cover his mouth, but I realised later, even if he had, it wouldn't be enough to cover such a vast span. I swear I felt like I was sitting beside a hippo.

His yawn was huge. As in massive. I think I saw his intestines squirming there (hey, it's hard to ignore such an action!).

I gulped and with all my bravery and asked him, bravery because with a mouth like that, I thought he would swallow me, "Duuuude?"

He said he found it extremely boring and it was time to move on to other sports like football. I told him I'm already in love with football, but I wouldn't want to get married to it. But he said that was the mistake I was making.

So that night I had this insanely weird dream. My third eye was in a kind of conference room. When a host of people entered. But they weren't people. There was a hockey stick with eyes, who was followed by other sporting items with eyes. Last entered a bat with a ball on of his handle and he seemed pretty sleepy.

All the items settled down and right in the middle was a football and the placard in front of him read, 'Chairman of All Sports'.

"Now, Chairman of The Rise in Popularity, tell me what are your plans?", boomed the football's voice. This racquet (not racket) rises up and says "We have planned a very similar schedule to that of our sister sport, tennis. We have even started building  larger courts so that more people may come and watch. Also, we have acquired telecast rights from the biggest sport channels." The squash racquet settled down with impressed faces all over.

"Very good. I'm extremely impressed. Now, may the chairman of the bored please give me his plans", said the football with a hint of malice in his voice. He couldn't believe he was once competing with this guy for the 'All Sports' job.

The bat stayed asleep. "CHAIRMAN OF THE BORED! ANSWER ME! What are your future plans?". The bat woke up with a start and blurted out "Two matches everyday!"

All the other goods shook their heads in dismay and everything got blurry and I woke up.

Let's get to the point here. Can we actually classify cricket as 'boring?'  Too much cricket is actually putting that tag on the game.

The fact that organisers place finals on Mondays just makes that tag tighter and tougher to remove.

Cricket once a week or twice a week used to be perfect. New entertainment and the time space allowed us to rev up the adrenaline. Now there are cricket matches everyday and you can't help but have the feeling, how much ever you ignore it, that your body is tired and is howling for sleep whenever you watch the game.

But why are we still so intent on watching this beautiful game?

I have a few answers in mind. It could be the amazing sound that is heard when willow connects with the ball. It could be the energy of the commentators that takes us off the couch and onto the ground. It could be the energy emitted out by the players who give their all for their teams and countries.

But if majority think (at least majority of the people around me do) that cricket is boring and worthless, why does it still exist?

It's because people like you and me fight for our sport. Its because we have so much love for the sport, that even though we are the minority, the majority is overwhelmed by us.

Again, I was sitting with my friend and watching a match and again, he let out a gigantic roar (yawn). He told me to get off my butt and do something else. This time I raised my head, very movie-like, and asked him to uhh..ahem ahem..off. Where is the love? Feel your heart, it goes tap-tap. 

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