Is Jorge Posada Smoking Crack?

Joseph JoveContributor IOctober 21, 2009

NEW YORK - AUGUST 10:  Jorge Posada #20 of the New York Yankees writes in the dirt at home plate during the game against the Toronto Blue Jays on August 12, 2009 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx Borough of New York City. (Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)

If we lived in a alternate Universe where a mans chin size determined his masculinity, then Jorge Posada would be one coyote ugly chick.

Couldn't he pay some plastic surgeon to take a couple of pounds off his ears and add it to his chinny chin chin.

I mean really?

How does he not slice his gums wide open when he is shaving his neck?

Did anyone notice how wacky he was acting tonight in game 4, of the American League Championship Series.

There he was, standing at second base when Cano smashes the ball all the way to the wall 400 ft away.

Jorge runs (if you want to call it running) half way to 3rd base, then stops, to gaze at the lovely sparkling stars above Angels stadium. "Oh, look how delightful the Big Dipper looks tonight."

Then he hears the 3rd base coach screaming at the top of his lungs " Jorge! run you chinless son of a motherless goat."

Of course he then comes to his senses and finally runs (with the refrigerator he carries on his back) to 3rd base. While Cano reaches 2ND base with a stand up double that could have been a triple.

Then, on a ground ball to the right side of the infield, he jogs towards home before stopping half way. Then begins counting the missing light bulbs on top of the stadium.

"One...she loves me, two... she loves me not, one... she loves me."

Again, the 3rd base coach ( who's voice must be horse by now) screams as loud as humanly possible "Jorge! run back to 3rd you son of a (censored)."

Then, Posada with his base path blazing speed (yeah right) gets back to 3rd, but then keeps on running about 4 feet past 3rd base towards left field.

"Oh, look at the pretty colors on those signs out in left field...what does that one say? Oh, I think it says "Posada smokes crack."

Of course the 3rd baseman (looking extremely confused) tags him out where his chin ought to be.

Meanwhile, Cano the rocket scientist, is watching this episode of gilligan's island standing approximately one foot away from the 3rd base bag. So the confused 3rd baseman tags him out too.

Luckily, the umpire never witnessed such stupidity in his lifetime. He then called Posada out, but failed to understand just what the hell was the other guy doing standing a foot away from the bag.

So Cano was called safe at 3rd.

Later in the game while sitting in the dugout, Jorge decides to paint his nails white. Which is a move that would have made Munson very proud.

Other non crack smoking catchers just put a little white tape around the finger tips, but nooo! Jorge likes to see pretty little white finger nails.

This "fairy" tale does not end there.

Around the 8Th inning with one out and man on 2ND, an Angel hits a grounder to Cano who quickly runs to his left and throws the runner out at first.

Of course our beloved catcher is not paying attention and starts running back to the dugout thinking it was the third out.

The runner at 2ND runs to 3rd base and notices that Posada is in the dugout. So he tries to steal home, but A-Rod runs full speed to cover home plate.

The runner then heads back to 3rd base, no damage done.

Wow...can you imagine if this game wasn't a blowout and this idiot loses the game for us. Lucky for the Yankees CC had these Angels in check the whole game.

I am making fun of today's mistakes, but if we lost this game on mental errors it would have really hurt this team.

I hope Posada has his head screwed on right tomorrow night. Hopefully there will be some celebration instead of finger pointing.

My name is Joseph Jove, and God help the Yankees.