Ripping Genius Joe Girardi Into Shreds

Joseph JoveContributor IOctober 19, 2009

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 08:  Manager Joe Girardi of the New York Yankees looks on during batting practice before playing the Tampa Bay Rays on September 8, 2009 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx borough of New York City.  (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

He takes his starting hitters out of the lineup in a tied extra inning game, Posada, Matsui and Damon. Imagine weakening your lineup 33% for one pinch runner.

He uses the greatest closer in the history of the game for 2/3 of an inning, just to get out of a little jam. A jam that he created with his brilliant 'deer in the headlights technique' that so far is his trademark.

He runs Gardner in the most inopportune moment, on a pitch out, with Posada batting of course . Then Posada hits a home run with no one on base.

We could have won the game right there if it wasn't for his meddling.

He puts a struggling Joba in unnecessarily in a tied game and losses the lead. With a bullpen full to the brim with hot relievers, he picks the only one that is actually struggling.

He takes out a very hot Robertson (who by the way saved Girardi from losing game two) with 2 outs and nobody on base. Then brings in his very last reliever (in an extra inning game)for no reason at all.

Of course that reliever (Ace) looses the game quicker than you can say " Say it ain't so Joe." 

Joe Girardi manages in a world of his own. Nobody with knowledge or without knowledge of the game can ever understand just what this guy is doing.

I don't think Joe Girardi understands, just what the hell he is doing either.

The most unorthodox manager that I ever laid eyes on. I loved Joe as a catcher when he played for us in the 90's, but as our manager, I feel like choking him till he turns blue.

Running up and down the steps of the dugout (like a turkey running for his life on Thanksgiving day) to take a quick peek at this giant book that I am sure contained the scouting reports.

Looking like a total novice, Looking like we say in New York "Like a jerk off."

I feel like taking this guy to a back alley somewhere and straightening him out with a ratchet. Make him think twice before he decides to manage like a total douche bag.

We should have fired this bum last year for coming in at third place. It's not like he needs the money or anything, it's not like firing a poor soul who needs to feed his family, or something like that.

If I was Hank, I would grab this pygmy and tie him up in his own office. Then I would throw some A1 steak sauce behind his ears before letting Mike Tyson have a bite at around feeding time.

That will fix him right up. Yes, that's what the man needs, Mike Tyson to chew on his ears like chicklets chewing gum for several minutes in a dark room somewhere in Yankee stadium.

I'll be praying tonight that the 'New York media' rip him to shreds tomorrow morning.

I would prefer if (by accident) they post his address, so my associates and I can pay him a little visit just before dawn. Teach him a thing or two about how not to manage.

Maybe I'll bring that book he was using last night and make him swallow every single page. We could possibly whack him with it, left and right, up and down, till he gets the picture.

Rest assure after our visit, he will be on his best behavior, and walking on egg shells for the rest of this post season. If he knows what's good for him.

With the help of my associates and I, he could be the best there ever was.

Do I sound just a tad angry the Yankees lost tonight's game in Anaheim?

No..I am livid the way our so called manager did everything possible to make sure we lost this game. I call for an investigation.

Because no one can be that bad of a manager all of a sudden, without some explaining to do.

I know for sure, with this fantastic team, that Joe Torre would be celebrating the American league championship tonight.

My name is Joseph Jove, and where is the A1 steak sauce?