Andy Reid Isn't Going Anywhere. Yay?

(Photo by Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)

In light of Sunday's humiliation at the hands of Al Davis's brain-eating zombie army (at minimum, they've feasted on the juicy brainmeats of Donovan Mcnabb and Andy Reid), I want to visit a simmering issue here in my adopted hometown: Andy Reid is negotiating a contract extension.

From a purely rational perspective, this is good news. The man has won more than 60 percent of his games. He's won more games than any other coach in team history. Under his stewardship, the Eagles have gone from perennial doormat to perennial championship contender. In 10 years, he's engineered seven playoff appearances and five conference championship games.

And yet, the Eagles are only 1-4 in the NFCCG and abominations like whatever the hell they were doing out there on Sunday are an annual occurrence. He believes passing is always the answer no matter the situation, even when, like Sunday, 60 percent of the projected starting offensive line was out of action and Brian Westbrook was gouging out great chunks of yardage on the ground.

The man is remarkably stubborn; Richard Seymour was giving King Dunlap the same treatment Shawn Merriman gave Tila Tequila, but Reid never went max protect and rarely helped his overmatched left tackle. Just ask Winston Justice how unwilling Reid is to help out a young LT facing an All-Pro defensive end.

I don't care that his press conferences are boring or that he rarely gives a straight answer to simple questions. He's a football coach, not Chris Rock. But Philadelphia still idolizes Buddy Ryan, a lousy coach, but a great quote. Personality matters in this city (just ask Donovan).

Reid is a notoriously bad gameday coach and more than a few living room sets have been demolished by fans watching him struggle to properly manage a two-minute drill. Halftime adjustments? What halftime adjustments? Just keep throwing.

His teams seem to have a patent on the pass-pass-pass-punt drive. And passing in short yardage situations. Of course, it's been at least three years since they could consistently convert short yardage situations by running, so on this one, he might have a point.

I won't even bring up the Super Bowl. Oh, God, the Super Bowl.

The biggest problem is that Reid still evidences the same shortcomings he's always had, and there is minimal evidence he can learn from his mistakes. He seems to have finally changed his philosophy of taking solid-yet-unspectacular receivers. Of course, it took him eight years to do so.

This is all moot, of course. There may not be a coach in the NFL with more job security. Andy Reid has a constituency of one and there has been nothing to suggest Jeffrey Laurie is ready to jettison the only head coach he's ever hired. Besides, who among the retreads looks like he'd be any better? Chuckie won with Dungy's players and lost with his own. Bill Cowher hadn't won a Super Bowl at this point in his career and nobody ever accused him of being a great coach. Billick, he's an arrogant prick, which would play well in this city, but he won't have Marvin Lewis and God's Own Linebacker around to build one of the great defenses in history this time.

No, we're most likely stuck with Big Red and while that's probably good, it still makes me a little ill.

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