Why I Want Rush Limbaugh as an NFL Owner

The dialogue. The sheer, blatant, full-speed-ahead dialogue about race and sports and free markets and entertainment and politics and good and bad behavior.

When, in the last 72 hours, has any supposedly journalistic endeavor actually asked Limbaugh whether he believes slavery was a good or bad thing? Has any journalist actually asked Limbaugh for his views on slavery?

Limbaugh denies some statements attributed to him about slavery. Why, in the sake of Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann, and the budget just for their makeup and limos, can't some one ask Rush to just issue a current, up-to-date statement on slavery?

The team. Oh, man, Rush, a Missouri native, couldn't move the team out of St. Louis, could he? Think of how wonderful it would be for a Missouri native to own an NFL team based in St. Louis.

Think of the pageantry!

Well, of course, you couldn't have pregame military fly overs. Those cost taxpayer dollars and are, basically, stupid. Why is the U.S. government paying for fly overs at stadiums? Rush would be opposed.

Well, of course, you couldn't have marching bands either. Bands tend to sport their schools colors and, in heated moments, the drummers could be likened to gang warfare, each trying to outdo the other while dressed in their "gang's" colors. Rush would be opposed.

Taxpayer subsidies of NFL stadiums. Another waste of taxpayer dollars. Rush would be opposed, right Rush?

NFL draft. Rush would oppose the draft because it restricts the freedom of football players to go to whatever team they want, despite the NFL draft order. Rush Limbaugh has always advocated a free market system. The NFL forces college players and NFL teams to submit to a certain draft order. Rush would blow this up in a minute, right Rush?

NFL anti-trust protection. While Rush, an advocate of less government, wanted to own an NFL team, he would likely have railed against the special tax and trust laws awarded to the NFL, wouldn't he? After all, Rush is all for the free market, isn't he?

Rush would have been a great owner. The first thing he would have done is rail against all the special U.S. corporate laws for the NFL, would have railed against all the taxpayer money being spent for fly overs and security and infrastructure, would have railed against the NFL draft which forces young men into an employment slot and salary slot based on not what the young man can do but on how bad the employing team is.

Yeah Rush never served in the military but he supports it and "feels your pain". Sure, Rush spends more money on lunch than most of his listeners spend on one week's groceries but he's with you in spirit, if not money.

But you could be rest assured with Rush as an NFL owner, he would never want government money for infrastructure costs for a new stadium, never want special anti-trust laws for the NFL, never want college players who were given taxpayer funded scholarships, never want anything that smacked of anything other than Rush-ti rules.

Rush would build his own stadium and, of course, all the highways and transportation leading to the new stadium because he wouldn't want government involved. He wouldn't sign any college players who actually had scholarships at any colleges because that's government money.

He wouldn't agree to the current system of the NFL draft because the draft is not a free market system. He wouldn't agree to the current NFL revenue sharing system because that is not a free market. He wouldn't agree to the current NFL team salary minimums or maximums because that is not a free market system.

Rush Limbaugh's ownership of an NFL team would have been the greatest thing a current or wannabe NFL player could hope for: Limbaugh believes only in a free market and not government funding. If he could afford to build the stadium, the infrastructure and transportation to the stadium, he could also afford to throw over the current NFL salary cap and give every player millions more dollars than any other team.

Now Rush loves the military, though he declined to play the war game himself. But, he has the voice and the money to entice you to play. Send your children to Rush. Some may have to run with footballs on non- government sponsored fields or run with rifles in foreign land fields approved by Rush.

Either way. Send your children to Rush. He's so smart and has so much money his epitaph will say: Popular Conservative Radio DJ.

Now ain't that an epitaph that will go down in history for at least 10 years?!