Rafa's Tennis Writers Power Rankings

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Rafa's Tennis Writers Power Rankings
(Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)

Hola Todos,

I sick of everywan always talk aboud di posision of tennis players. I watch di blicher repor and now I gonna rank di top 10 player:

 

Numero Unos: Aaron Kumar

Dis guy always gotta put a bet on someting.  Jou wanna write or jou wanna place bet.  Jou wanna place bet den click da link and lif da blicher report alone.  Jou write wit no strong...put a spin like Rafa putta di topspin on da shots.  Vamos!

 

Numero Dos: Nima Naderi

I see jou in da crowd lots of time in di tournamento.  Di only problemo I hef wid jou is dat jou too busy wit da lapatop wen jou should be watching di match.  Jou write good but everywan wan to know who pay jour salary if jou write on da blicher for no pay.  Jou godda eat, jou know!

 

Numero Tres: Rob York

I like dis hombre coz he da new buss in town.  He no justa write about di Roger.  I say to him—tankyouverymach!

 

Numero Quatros: Clarabella Beavis

Me, I like dis chica.  She try to a push her daughters my away but I got a chica already...muchas gracias senora!  I know jou like di Roger but is okay...jou daughters know bedder.

 

Numero Cincos: JA Allen

Why jou no at a number two lika Rafa?  Jou dere long time and jou write nice.  Rafa want jou to write nice poem for heem.  Roger di bes si but he is not di only one ok?  Write for Rafa si?  Tankyuverymach!

 

Numero Sei: Rajat Jain

Jou know me well and gracias for the articles about Rafa.  Jou are kind to dose who write well...Rafa like dat....jou tell people dey write like sh**.  Rafa like dat too.  Tankyuverymuch.  Wan day jou going to be namber wan!  VAMOS!

 

Numero Sete: Long John Silver

Where are jou Long Juan!  Why jou lif?  I gonna need jou wit all dese Federer fans writing...come back and try jour bes....even if it is not great....look at Hewitt...if he can do it, jou can....

 

Numero Ocho: Anti Matter

I no understand jou at all.  Jou speak di Englis?  I read di words on jour page but no entiendo!  Por favor, please take di simple englis class....

 

Numero Nueve:  Robert Orzechowski

Jou are lucky to be in top ten.  Muy comico!  Jou make fan of everywan especially me.  Too bad nobody read jou....bueno for me...bad for jou.

 

Numero Diez: Tyler Lambert

Que pasa?  Jou no write di tennis yet jou in ti top ten?  Hola!  I no feel dis bad since French Open.  Jou know who I am...because I no know about jou.

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