"One Big Clusterfunk": Why the WWE's 2009 Diva Draft Was Pointless

Mr. Ashley MorrisAnalyst IOctober 14, 2009

Clusterfunk. That's what I feel the WWE's "Diva Draft," was, which took place on last night's episode of RAW. And, as with several other writers on Bleacher Report, I want to give my two cents on the matter as well.


The basic argument against this random and unimpressive roster shakeup by WWE Creative is that it leaves RAW without a dominant female heel. To be completely honest with you, I never thought of those particular ramifications of the draft; I was too busy salivating at the idea of a Beth Phoenix/Natalya match (which, much like most of my fantasies, probably won't happen anytime soon). However, I'd like to take a Thomas Payne-esque "Common Sense" look at this Draft, and why it was one big clusterfunk.


1) Who Cares?

The WWE is in the midst of restructuring most of its product.  Newcomers, such as Sheamus (O'Shaughnessy), Yoshi Tatsu, and Drew McIntyre have been called to the main roster, while the scouting and signing of Bryan Danielson and Nigel McGuiness shows some excellent promise. Smackdown is fast becoming the "it" show of WWE TV, specializing in showcasing the talent of a much younger and hungrier roster. RAW's ratings continue to steadily climb as guest hosts each week provide varying levels of entertainment as they seamlessly connect the casual fan to the product.

In light of all those things, the Diva Draft is important be...cause...?

Don't get me wrong; I'm not knocking the talent or work ethic of the WWE Divas. They are sexy, smart, savage, etc etc etc. However, if creative team doesn't recognize those same qualities and provide these top notch female athletes the opportunity to showcase those same qualities, then how can it be expected that the fans will take anything they do seriously? 

The fact that the draft happened in the same manner as the passing of the Homeland Security Act (at midnight, under a coffee table) suggests that someone probably came up with a last minute fix to a huge problem that had been festering for quite some time.

Then, they had the nerve to let Nancy O'Dell make the announcement. Let us not forget that Ms. O'Dell was summarily booed at Summerslam, right as she attempted to promote her foundation, Betty's Battle, which raises funds and awareness for ALS—also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease.


2) Natalya v. Beth Phoenix v. Katie Lea

Be honest; the WWE's Diva Division hasn't been on fire since Trish Stratus retired, not to mention that before then, Sunny was the biggest Diva to hit the ring. Before that, it was Alundra Blayze v. Bull Nakano. You're not really all that excited to see the Divas wrestle and you know it.

Unless...unless it involves the three women mentioned above. No offense to Melina, but she gets major kudos from the male demographic for her entrance into the ring and not necessarily for her athletic abilities...which is sad, because she's one hell of an athlete.

Outside of that, everyone else is pretty much...well, pretty. Until we get that dream match between Jim Neidhart's daughter, Paul Burchill's "sister," and Santino Marella's ex-boyfriend, we'll have to hope that someone steps up and makes an impact.


3) Divas + Tag Team Division = Titanic

Other organizations do not have the benefit of being as established as the WWE, but in terms of realizing the potential of their stars and divisions, a few companies have the WWE beat.

The Divas Division, much like the Tag Team Division, is suffering from a lack of development at this current time in the WWE. Established tag teams have to do the job to two random guys put together, while the Divas that can actually throw down in the ring sit in their locker rooms watching "wrestling freshmen" hone their craft on national television and not FCW.

The lack of interesting, long-lasting rivalries and feuds in the Divas Division is frustrating to say the least, especially because there isn't one Diva that stands out as the woman in a sea of women wrestlers. Trish Stratus was (and is, in some's view) the Alpha Beast in the Diva's Division; Alundra Blayze was the Alpha Beast in her day, as well as Sunny in hers. 

Can you sit and name me the one Diva in the WWE that all the other Divas want to beat and/or be? 

Nope. And that's probably because we have a Woman's Champion and a Diva's Champion...now that I'm thinking of it, what's the difference between the two divisions?

I guess it's for all these reasons that I'm not all that particularly moved by this draft in either direction. Sure, I did say it was a massive clusterfunk, but let's hope that someone with major brass gets a hold of this note and suggests some sort of change in the way things are handled with the Divas.

But alas, what do you think?