Terminator Six: The End of Repetition

Robert  Orzechowski by Analyst Written on October 14, 2009
Terminator_l_feature

To avoid legal ramifications, the following story is pure fiction and the names of the characters have been changed to protect the living. 

It was a hazy Seattle rainy afternoon as community leader Bob Yorkie logged on to his computer.  He sipped his morning coffee as he wondered what possible past tennis events he could write about.

As he rummaged through various tennis memories in his head, a swirling blue light formed into a whirling mini-tornado sending all of his desk items scattering through the turbulent air.

A tall muscular image appeared out of the tornado and suddenly the chaotic noise and movement stopped. 

Yorkie had time to only mutter "Holy F-"

Out from the light stepped the Arnold Swarzeneggar look-a-like.  He spoke out, cutting the tension in the air.

Terminator: Onder orticle 5-3 sectiawn foer, you have been slated for termination.

Bob Yorkie: Woa there pal.  What is article 5-3 section 4?

Terminator: I have been sent by da Bleacha Rapot from da future.  Article 5-3 section 4 states dat endless and meaningless writing of past subjects wit no perpose and no end result will result in immediate termination.

Bob Yorkie:  But I do have purpose.  My works are designed to promote thinking and analysis of the great moments of our game. 

Terminator:  Your works have cluttered ap our systems of da future and I was sent to eliminate da sorce.  Hasta la vista Bob Yorkie!

Terminator raises shotgun and blows Bob Yorkie away.

Terminator:  Next stop Australia.  Must terminate preceding community leader Golden Long John.

Terminator vanishes and reappears in an Australian pub.  He identifies and approaches Golden Long John.

Golden Long John:  Hey mate...ow about a golden pint from the great Golden Long John?

Terminator: Drink this.

Terminator draws shotgun and blows away Golden Long John sending him to the other side of the pub killing him instantly. 

Terminator:  Next stop India to visit Eron Kumara.

Terminator vanishes and reappears at an Internet cafe in Bombay.  All the Indians on computers are stunned as this giant machine surveys the area looking for Eron Kumara.  He throws off the nearest person from his computer and punches in codes to locate his target.

Terminator:  Target is at secondary location providing cheap outsourcing to America.  Will be dealt with by the Outsource Terminator next week. 

Suddenly, the Terminator is overloaded with too large a download of target writers to terminate.  He starts to crack and dissipate into running liquid which separates and flees like scattering mice.

 

Coming Soon:  Terminator Seven: Operation Annihilation of Rankings

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written on October 14, 2009 Humor

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