There are plenty of managers today who, apart from their football-related knowledge, have some sense of humor. Even if they don't, their intended-to-be-serious quotes often end up hilarious.
In any case, I will try to cover some of those famous, witty or unintentionally funny quotes here.
Bill Shankly: One of the most successful managers in Liverpool's history also came up with some witty stuff.
"There's only two teams in Liverpool: Liverpool and Liverpool Reserves."
Not too sure what the Everton fans would make of that!
"At a football club, there's a holy trinity—the players, the manager and the supporters. Directors don't come into it. They are only there to sign the cheques."
Try telling that to Avram Grant!
Sir Alex Ferguson: Sir Alex has won everything there is to win in England, and yet he has this burning desire to win more. In his twenty-odd years at Manchester United, he, too, has come up with some verbal gems.
"They come out with the ‘English are so strong, we’re terrible in the air, we can’t do this, we can’t do that.’ Then they beat you 3-0″
Sir Alex showing that even he is not immune from mind games. He's referring to the Italians here...
“He could start a row in an empty house.”
Alex Ferguson has an emphatic view about Dennis Wise—now Director of Football at Newcastle.
"They have those fans who are so emotional and fanatical, they expect to win the World Cup!"
Now, he's talking about the Geordies—slightly exaggerated, I think they would settle for a treble!
"The crowd were dead. It was like a funeral out there."
I guess the "prawn-sandwich brigade" took over Old Trafford on this occasion!
Arsene Wenger: "The professor" has had his share of controversies and makes some incredibly witty comments in trying times. Sometimes, his comments are quite hilarious, even though he never intended them to be!
"I didn't see that incident..."
He's probably used that one a million times and it still doesn't seem like he's going to stop!
"Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home!"
This in response to Sir Alex Ferguson's warnings that Arsenal would crack under pressure and that Manchester United had been the best team in the league that year—despite the fact that they were second.
"I'm very excited with this team because they are 'playerish'—if there is such a word—they love to play."
Wenger's trying to show that he is French.
Inventing words is clearly not Wenger's forte...but this one is not bad!
"I tried to watch the Spurs match on television in my hotel yesterday, but I fell asleep."
Endearing himself even more to Arsenal fans!
Jose Mourinho: Jose Mourinho is someone who is made for entertaining the press. He has the charm and the arrogance with the right mixture (for the neutrals, of course!) and will always be remembered in England for his very inventive quotes.
"Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one."
His introductory press conference was just the tip of the iceberg for the things to come...
"I would love an Aston Martin, but, if you ask me, £1m for an Aston Martin, I tell you, you are crazy because they cost £250,000."
Jose trying to say, very illustratively, that Chelsea will not overpay for anyone... nice joke!
"If you ask me if I jump with happiness when I know Mr Poll is our referee? No."
Jose is clearly letting Graham Poll know what he thinks of him!
"The best team did not win this match..."
He always seemed to use this quote after Chelsea lost!
"For me, pressure is bird flu. I'm feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It's not fun and I'm more scared of it than football."
Pressure... what pressure?
"As we say in Portugal, they (Spurs) brought the bus and they left the bus in front of the goal."
Illustrating that Spurs defended rather staunchly against Chelsea to claim a draw.
"The linesman scored the goal. No-one knows if that shot went over the line and you must be 100 percent."
I know he's a football manager, but how on Earth can a linesman score a goal?!
Kevin Keegan: "KK" is probably the best at these "quotes." He has sent too many people into hysterical laughter with his outrageously funny quotes. You probably get the point by now!
"That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved."
Stating the obvious, Kev!
"It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card."
Using creative visualization to describe a "card happy" referee.
"Chile have three options—they could win or they could lose."
Lost count there I guess!
"In some ways, a cramp is worse than having a broken leg."
"Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice-versa."
I'm not even going to bother commenting on that one!
"The tide is very much in our court now."
I wonder how tennis players would survive in KK's world!
"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none."
King Kevin... Nobody can beat that quote!
Hopefully, most of those quotes made you guys laugh. Football is all about enjoyment, and managers sure do enjoy the game... a little bit too much!
I'm sure that I missed out 90 percent of the great quotes, so feel free to share the quotes that you feel are funny.
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