Texas Tech QB a Game Time Decision: Foreign Exchange Student or Monkey?

The mad professor at Texas Tech is at it again. Heading into their road contest with the Nebraska Cornhuskers, Coach Leach is contemplating yet another move at quarterback.  

Last week ,with Taylor Potts sidelined with a concussion, Coach Leach had to pull Steven “Sticks” Sheffield from the reserves. Sheffield had a huge statistical day, connecting on 33 of 41 passes for 490 yards and seven touchdowns in a 66-14 romp over Kansas State.

When asked about Sheffield's play, Leach’s first response was, “Who?” 

When prompted, he followed up with, “You know, I really didn’t know much about the kid until Potts went down. I checked the roster to see who we had handy, and you know, it’s just ‘plug and play’ around here. I don’t really learn their names until they make a Heisman ballot, and even then it’s more about the spelling than the person.”
 
When asked about how special the margin of victory and number of touchdown passes were, Leach answered, “Sure, seven touchdowns seems like a lot for a young man, but we’ve done that this year already. Now if he threw eight or nine…”
 
More enlightening was speculation that the quarterback for Nebraska might not even be Potts or Sheffield, or even human.
 
“I really want to push the system. We don’t want to get caught up in the players themselves. They graduate. I’m thinking of giving the starting nod to Alexi Algorran, a Russian exchange student, or Canasta the circus chimp.  I mean, if you’ve never played football ever, then throwing seven touchdowns would be amazing. If you weren’t even our species, routing a team 66-14 would be headline news. This is about an offensive system. Anyone can come here and put up numbers, anyone.”
 
For a coach that has pulled his starting kicker tout of the stands and gotten 4,000 yards out of such unremarkable talents as Kliff Kingsbury, BJ Symons, Sonny Cumbie, Cody Hodges, and Graham Harrell, anything does seem possible.