Homecoming in Iowa City is pure craziness.
Normal pregame celebrations for home games are crazy by themselves, but add in several thousand UI alumni, an official blackout during a night game featured on ABC, and an honorary captain named Chuck Long, and things can get insane in a hurry!
Don't believe me? Well, here is a glimpse at how I spent Homecoming in Iowa City. I'll let you be the judge...
FRIDAY
3:12 PM - Meet up with an old dorm floor buddy from the college days, Bob, whom I haven't seen for years. After the formal greetings, he asks for a beer.
3:19 PM - Bob asks for another beer. Uh oh.
6:00 PM - We head to a sports bar called The Edge and belly up to the bar. I nearly propose to the breathtakingly gorgeous hostess.
7:42 PM - Several drinks and a large pizza later, we call a cab to head downtown to the pedestrian mall, aka Bar Central.
8:36 PM - The cabbie drops us off and conveniently doesn't have change for my $20. Apparently he thought his Borat impression warranted a $9 tip. Very nice....NOT!
8:45 PM - Belly up to the bar at Quinton's. Bob orders everyone with us a shot of Patron along with his thirteenth beer.
9:30 PM - A few of Bob's friends meet up with us. Knuckle bumps galore. More alcohol is consumed.
10:43 PM - Bob orders a round of Jager Bombs for everyone.
10:47 PM - Bob's friend pukes his Jager Bomb on three random people next to us. Security boots him. I buy the puke victims a round of drinks to defuse the situation.
12:02 AM - Everyone has finally made their way through the line at Joe's Place and Bob has started hitting on the Jello Shot girl. It fails, but he does get us a discount on shots.
12:34 AM - Someone decides it's a good idea for another round of Jager Bombs. "None for the puker!" shouts Bob, which causes three-fourths of the bar to turns our way and stare. I hide in a booth.
2:02 AM - The search for a cab gets serious. Bob stumbles for three blocks and nearly gets us into three fights. He is shouting everything minus "I AM A GOLDEN GOD" at the young women passing by. Miraculously, his belligerence pays off and we crowbar our way into a cab.
2:16 AM - After arguing with the cab driver about not going the right way, Bob yells for the cabbie to pull over so we can walk. We are 10 miles from where we were and 10 miles from where we need to be. I smack Bob in the back of the head, tell the cab driver my friend is mentally handicapped and I promise 100% tip. Cab driver agrees to the impossible...ignoring Bob.
2:28 AM - Back to where we need to be. I verbally command Bob to pass out and point him to a spot to do so. 15 seconds later, he obeys command...and the snoring begins.
4:06 AM - I wake up to the sound of water hitting something. I notice Bob is using the coffee table as a toilet. It's college all over again.
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