Making Better Use of Terrelle Pryor: The Joe Schmoe Plan

(Photo by Jamie Sabau/Getty Images)

Bad news for us Buckeye fans hoping to see our team garner a fifth straight Big Ten title and a trip to a major bowl. The exciting OSU offense appeared in Saturday's game with Wisconsin for only 17 minutes, eking out just 184 yards and only 10 points.

That won’t cut it against Penn State, Iowa and even Michigan. Today, the defense and special teams once again rescued us from defeat. But you can’t count on interceptions and 96-yard kickoff returns to win every crucial game.

And so, I’d like to present my Joe Schmoe Plan to win the big games. It makes better use of Terrelle Pryor, gives backup quarterback Joe Bauserman and others experience, and solves the running back problem.

First, move Pryor into a running back position. In the quarterback position, substitute anyone who can think—preferably one of the five players listed at that position on the team roster.

When I say “think”, I mean someone who can quickly assess the status of his receivers and decide whether to pass or run. Pryor’s alleged 4.33 time makes him the fastest man on the team, but he takes almost as much time as my bridge partner Walter to decide which card to play. So shouldn’t the speed-runner be a running back, and the speed-reader be the quarterback?

Sure, it would be a gamble injury-wise to start both Pryor and Bauserman. But my hunch is that any of those freshman listed at quarterback—Barnet, Guiton, Oltorik or Siems—can read faster than TP.

All they have to do is check out the landscape, taking the pressure of Pryor, then opt to (1) toss a short pass to a receiver or (2) pitch a lateral to Pryor. TP then has the option of running the ball or tossing it downfield himself.

Hopefully, by the time Pryor gets the ball, the line has had time to set up blocking for his fine open field gait, or TP has perhaps finally found someone in the open. A third option is that Pryor’s height makes him a huge target for a speed-reading quarterback.

Bauserman would be my pick to play quarterback in the Joe Schmoe Plan. If he gets injured? Well, we can always revert to Pryor, who is so big that it’s difficult for defenders to damage him. And having Pryor as a running back takes the heat off the injury-prone Dan Herron.

Who knows? A Brandon Saine-Terrelle Pryor tandem might make a difference.

Is it too late in the season to initiate the Joe Schmoe Plan? No. We’ve got Purdue and Minnesota, and then New Mexico State to use for guinea pigs.

It’s either that or toss a flu-infested blanket into the opposing teams’ locker rooms in hope their offenses will be made as slow on the take as ours.

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