Creature v Creature: SEC Championship Game? Florida v LSU Duel in Death Valley

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Creature v Creature: SEC Championship Game? Florida v LSU Duel in Death Valley
(Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Let’s get straight to the point. Florida will win at LSU.

Not only win, but win by at least two TDs.


Not only win by at least two TDs, but win with whatever QB they decide to play.


Florida could start Ebenezer Barnes at QB, a morbidly obese, 52 year old cross-eyed midget, and win by a field goal. And Ebenezer would kick the winning field goal…using his good leg…But I digress.


Florida is the class of the SEC. Florida is the class of the Nation. Maybe the best damn team ever.


This team is so good, that when Florida wins the national championship this year, the Gators will host Barack Obama in Gainesville for a photo op.


And when I say win the national championship, I don’t mean win it with a one loss record…or a two loss record like the national championship that LSU stole a few years ago. I mean as an undefeated team.


And to be undefeated, that means that Florida will beat LSU on Saturday night in Death Valley. Sorry for stating the obvious Gator fans, but there are a few LSU fans out there that have internet connections…and well…you know.


The most compelling argument for LSU beating the Gators is that somehow, someway, all of LSU's past home victories at night will magically have an effect on the outcome of this game.


For those LSU Tiger fans who still believe in fairy tales, I want to share a little secret with you. There is neaux Santa Claus… Mrs. Butterworth doesn’t really talk…and that hot chick is waving to the guy behind you.


History happened.  


Billy Cannon can’t help you now.


Tim Tebow’s playing status has Gator fans nervous and LSU’s athletic supporters giddy.  With the seriousness of Tebow’s injury, I happen to believe that John Brantley will start. With Tebow’s availability in limbo, LSU won’t know which QB to game plan for.


The unknown QB situation will divide the time that LSU has to prepare for the nation’s number one rushing offense. Gary Danielson, in an interview with The Orlando Sentinel’s Andrea Adelson, agreed with my earlier article, Tim Tebow’s Concussion Gives Florida the Best Chance to Beat LSU. Danielson feels that the Gators will play loose with Brantley piloting the team, knowing they must step up to take pressure off the young QB.


Remember that 2007 game when Les Miles coached like rain man? All those stupid fourth down plays that worked against Florida’s toothless defense? Well, Urban Meyer remembers too, and there’s going to be a little payback. And after this game, LSU fans will remember that the 2009 Florida Defense is a tad bit better than the ’07 version.


In last year’s National Championship game Florida’s defense held Oklahoma to 14 points, 40 points below their average. Florida’s returns all 11 starters, AND all 11 backups. They’re the NCAA’s version of the 1985 Chicago Bears record setting defense.  And defense will win this game, not offense.


Yes, I’m confident that the Gators will beat LSU.


My confidence stems from the fact that LSU escaped Georgia with another miracle win. LSU only scored six points on a terrible Georgia defense the entire game, save for the last 2:53 of play. LSU had trouble with Washington, didn’t win any style points in escaping Vanderbilt and survived with a goal line stand against Mississippi State. Entering the Georgia game, LSU had the 114th rated offense out of 120 teams.


Florida is the better team. Better athletes, better coaching staff, hotter cheerleaders. LSU is overrated, and Florida will expose them.


Florida’s Tenacious D will make John Brantley Florida’s new Wonderboy, as he wins his first collegiate start. And an impressive new streak will begin…first time starters at QB win at LSU at night.


National Champions: 38

LSU: 10


To read about LSU's chances, check out LSU featured columnist Justin Goar Creature v Creature article.  Justin’s article can be found here.

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