My hopes are running high, though I will soon find out, not for good reason.
11:31am – I have just arrived at Tom’s Sports Bar in Portland, Oregon. Sitting down in my chosen booth, I realize I have forgotten my playoff bat, an object that literally carried the Rockies to their 2007 World Series berth.
I text one of my roommates to ask him to bring it along. He is reluctant since we are all pretty sure that bringing a baseball bat (especially one nicknamed “El Chivo Jr.”) into a bar is blatantly illegal.
I convince him how important this is and he tosses my bat into his car.
11:34am – I am terrified of Cliff Lee. Thanks a lot, Cleveland Indians management team, for doing everything you could to ruin my team’s season, too.
11:37am – Yup. That’s me… skipping out on work and sitting alone in a Portland bar literally shaking with anticipation over a baseball game. My parents and girlfriend would be proud.
11:37am – Top 1st - And we’re off…
11:44am – Top 1st - Infield single for Tulo. You can’t stop him. You just can’t.
In other news, there’s only one other person in this bar and he just so happens to be a Rockies fan. What are the chances? In the Northwest, they’re close to nothing.
11:53am – Bottom 1st - I don’t want to jinx it, but Jimenez looks sharp today. For the record, though, I’m saying we lose this game 5-2 despite seven solid innings from ‘Baldo – just so no one thinks I’m one of those ridiculously unrealistic homer fans.
12:03pm – Bottom 2nd - Ubaldo Jimenez is a grenade dropper. The off speed stuff to Chase Utley is insulting.
12:06pm – Bottom 2nd - My roommates just joined me at the bar. Two minutes later, they want to leave. I guess I am embarrassing myself. Sorry roommates.
12:34pm – Bottom 4th – Thanks for playing, Chase Utley. You just got your legs blown off by another Jimenz grenade. Boom.
12:44pm – Middle 5th – I decided it’s time to score some runs. Every inning that passes brings us closer to Joe Biemel and Franklin Morales. I really don’t want to rely on those guys to pull us out in this game.
12:51pm – Bottom 5th – 1-0 Phillies Lead. Jimenez lost his concentration and let the Phillies on the board. Torrealba needs to go out to the mound and have a few words.
12:53pm – Bottom 5th – The words didn’t work. Maybe a cold shower? Smelling salts? Electro-shock therapy? Just throw the ball over the plate, Ubaldo. Do it.
12:59pm – Bottom 5th – 2-0 Phillies Lead. Brad Hawpe also needs electro-shock therapy. Way to play like you belong here, Brad. Nothing like overrunning an obvious single to show everybody how excited you are about the playoffs.
1:05pm – End 5th – Tough inning. The wind has been blown from my sails. I need a leadoff single to pump me back up.
1:09pm – Top 6th – Following a four-pitch strikeout to a pitcher who should have been taken out of the game, I’m still not pumped.
1:11pm – Mid 6th – 14 outs in a row for Cliff Lee. That’s not going to get it done, Rockies lineup.
1:14pm – Mid 6th – I looked up my life expectancy on Google. Looks like I only have 43 years left. Though irrelevant to the current article, I thought I should share. We’re all on the great countdown anyway.
1:17pm – Bottom 6th – 3-0 Phillies Lead. Lots of smiles in Philadelphia. Jimenez should be evacuated from this game immediately. The wall in leftfield just tackled Carlos Gonzalez. I am downtrodden.
1:21pm – Bottom 6th – 4-0 Phillies Lead. Ubaldo Jimenez is the picture of sadness right now. I feel like I am watching Step Mom. Denver cries with you, Ubaldo. Denver cries with you.
1:26pm – Mid 6th – 5-0 Phillies Lead. I am officially dedicating this game to all of the poser Rockies fans who have ever used the term “Rocktober.”
If you happen to be one of those fans, go find another blog to read. This one’s not for you. Go on. Leave. Get out of here.
1:44pm – Mid 7th – Another quick inning from the Rockies. Stuff like that helps me realize that this is a whole team effort. No one man can take full credit for this. Everybody can share equally here. Well done.
1:48pm – Bottom 7th – Next pitcher, please. We’re 0-3 so far and can’t do any worse.
2:06pm – Bottom 8th – Jason Marquis is in the game. I’m not sure what to think now. I guess we’re going with a three-man rotation in the series.
It smells of desperation. But who are we kidding? We’ve already got desperation written all over us and we’re only eight innings into this series.
2:15pm – End 8th – Assuming we do lose this game (a good bet at this point), tomorrow is basically a must-win affair. That thought scares the hell out of me.
2:22pm – Top 9th – The whole stadium is filled with happy people. It’s really a disgusting sight to witness. They’re like rabid dogs. Someone should come up with a vaccine for this.
2:24pm – Top 9th – 5-1 Phillies Lead. And we’re on the board! Take that, Cliff Lee.
2:26pm – End 9th (5-1 Loss) Thanks a lot Cleveland Indians for your role in today’s Colorado Rockies playoff loss. Your ineptitude as a franchise is officially contagious.
Tune in tomorrow for more notes, thoughts and lamentations on the Rockies playoff hopes and dreams, minute by minute, loss by loss… maybe. I’m still saying Rockies in five, though I’m not saying it with much enthusiasm.