A recent survey by Nielsen (the survey company not the Swedish Garage band) presented their audience with the following survey question:
"If you're from Rockford, Peoria or Manitoba, odds are you have several things in common with people from Grand Rapids, Hershey and Abbotsford. What are they?"
A. You went to the Junior Prom with someone other than your sister.
B. You went to the prom with your sister and accidentally ripped her dress.
C. You have a rusted bath tub or an old car in your front yard.
D. You skipped your prom to go to an AHL hockey game.
Nielsen found that of over 10,000 people surveyed in the towns of Rockford, Peoria, Manitoba, Grand Rapids, Hershey and Abbotsford the percentages broke out as follows:
A. 0 percent
B. 97 percent
C. 100 percent
D. 3 percent
I have analyzed Nielsen's findings and have been able to come to the following conclusions.
A. Sheep probably aren't safe either in the towns of Rockford, Peoria, Manitoba, Grand Rapids, Hershey and Abbotsford.
B. See A
C. Go figure.
D. This adds up to 200 percent...go figure.
E. I'm looking for that 3 percent to write Bleacher Report stories about their favorite AHL team this season along with writers from Bridgeport, Hartford, Lowell, Manchester, Portland, Providence, Springfield, Worcester, Adirondack, Albany, Binghamton, Norfolk, Syracuse and the budding metropolises of Wilkes-Barre and Scranton.
Because I'm a man of very little ambition and even less self dignity, it is my goal to build the American Hockey League Bleacher Report Community. Just that. Nothing else.
See, anyone can build a community for a major league sport like the NHL, NBA, NFL or MLB, but it takes a true Spartan to build a community for a league that most people don't care about. Why climb a mountain when you can roll down a rocky hill instead?
My previous attempts in the area of Bleacher Report Community building have included the World Marble Association (WMA), World Cow Chip Toss Association (WCCTA) and even the World Association of Rock Throwing (WART). But, never have I taken on a challenge as awe-inspiring and as potentially rewarding as building a Bleacher Report Community for the AHL.
So, if you hale from Hamilton, Lake Erie, Rochester, Toronto, Houston, Milwaukee, San Antonio, or Texas (not a city, but a whole state) and have a hankering for covering some AHL hockey, drop me a note on my bulletin board. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Headed out to buy a prom dress with my sister.
Seriously for a second (but only for a second)...I had great fun last season writing for the Worcester Sharks of the AHL. Though hockey in a minor league city may not be the same as hockey in the NHL, it is still hockey and needs you to help cover it. If we can get writers from a reasonable portion of the AHL cities, we can build a hockey loving community for these cities that get little or no national exposure.
My attempt to do the same with the Women's Professional Soccer League has been quite successful...so, if interested, drop me a line and I'll get the puck rolling with Bleacher Report and the PR departments for the league.
And remember...No sisters were harmed or injured in the creation of this story...