Any Way You Cut It, Kimbo Slice is Nice

There's a reason Seinfeld is considered one of the best sitcoms of all time. It was hilarious, but in a timeless and true-to-life sort of way. If you can tolerate the whining, it might be your perfect comedy.

Take, for instance, the non-sexual male crush.

Any self-respecting sports die-hard of the masculine gender has been guilty of this particular ailment on at least one occasion. Unless you've just caught the sweet sickness, of course, then there's a chance you're still looking for your first.

Sadly, I can see another scarlet quartet of letters in my immediate future courtesy of mixed martial arts. I can't help it—I'm a sucker for an old school athlete who distinguishes him—or herself.

The more I see Kevin Ferguson, aka Kimbo Slice, the more I'm thinking it's not just sympathetic editing that's making the big man appear to be good people. When Quentin Jackson was giving his mediocre pep talk at the end of the last Ultimate Fighter episode, the attentiveness came from Kimbo.

Furthermore, it seems like the ex-street brawler has blended into the fabric of the house with relative ease.

Maybe I'm overly cynical, but I thought there would be immediate shots fired across his bow. In my eyes, tossing the prematurely anointed phenom in with a bunch of fighters desperate to make an impression was a decent facsimile of chucking a slab of beef into a pit of starving, rabid dogs.

Yet, so far, so good.

It's only been two episodes—too few to make any firm decisions—and a loss to Roy Nelson in their impending clash would ratchet up the pressure considerably. But I actually think Slice will be the victor.

I wouldn't put any real money on it and I wouldn't be so bold as to predict a flashy finish from Mr. Ferguson, but I'm expecting to see him in the next round.

Nelson is certainly the more complete practitioner of mixed martial arts, but quickness is quickness. I simply don't see how an individual walking around with that much excess (and consequently useless) weight can be any shade of fast.

Kimbo, on the other hand, may have a plethora of vulnerabilities, but lack of lightning does NOT appear to be one of them. Whether it be pure movement or more specific to his hands, the bearded one looks to be well-equipped in either department.

I'll happily defer to any legitimate experts, but I gotta believe takedown defense becomes much easier with time unabashedly in your corner.

What's more, who out there would be surprised if machismo overwhelmed common sense i.e. "Big Country" opted to stand and bang in an effort to embarrass the heavy-handed rep of his antagonist? Does Roy Nelson strike you as a guy who always sticks to the game plan?

You know Rashad Evans is nervous, even with such a blatant advantage ripe for the picking.

One thing is beyond question—there are only two directions from here for an apparently good dude and both feature the scrutiny of Spike TV's rolling cameras.

With arguably the staunchest challenge of Kimbo Slice's incipient MMA career on the horizon, the man can either take a nice step closer to legitimacy or a possibly terminal stumble with a slew of fight fans watching.

And who knows which would make for better television?

**www.pva.org**

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