This Week in Sports: 'Melo to the Nets?

Thanks for taking the time to give me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain with my rapid take on the week that was in sports.

GEREMI GONZALEZ

Former Major League Baseball pitcher Geremi Gonzalez was killed Sunday after being struck by lightning on a beach in his homeland of Caracas, Venezuela. Gonzalez, who pitched for five teams from 1997-2006 en route to compiling a record of 30-35, died at the age of 33.

Everybody who knows me realizes that I suffer from a chronic case of hypochondria and I am constantly seeking reassurance from my friends regarding my physical health. When my next Bob Wiley-like moment inevitably occurs, I ask those close to me to please not utilize the pacifying phrase, “you have a better chance of being struck by lightning” than of acquiring that disease.

In light of this weekend’s tragedy, those comforting words won’t ease my concerns, and hearing them may make me take “baby-steps” all the way to an insane asylum.

CARMELO ANTHONY

The New York Post reported last week that the New Jersey Nets and the Denver Nuggets are discussing a trade that would send Carmelo Anthony and Marcus Camby to East Rutherford in exchange for Richard Jefferson, Marcus Williams, and the 10th overall selection in this June’s NBA Draft.

Anthony, 23, is a two-time All-Star who has averaged 24.4 points and 6.0 rebounds a game since his rookie season in 2003. He is a spectacular talent with a chance to become one of the greatest small forwards in league history—if he veers away from the pitfalls of parasites, money, and fame.

“Melo,” a native of Baltimore who has been harshly criticized for his recent brushes with the authorities and for appearing in a menacing video entitled “Stop Snitchin’,” is a player with the abilities to alter an entire franchise.

It would behoove the lowly New York Knicks to make a major offer to acquire the troubled Mile-High superstar. The Knickerbockers could assemble an attractive package, highlighted by their 6th overall pick in next month’s draft and their spirited power forward David Lee, 25, among other bit parts from their roster.

Granted, making a bid for Anthony is a genuine gamble considering his thuggish demeanor and antics. But, the Knicks are currently a non-entity, and like Bob Dylan once sang, “When you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose. You’re invisible now.”

The Knicks have been “invisible” this entire decade and Anthony would give the Knicks something to build upon for both the present and future. Newly-hired Knicks President of Basketball Operations Donnie Walsh needs to snare “Melo.” If he doesn’t, it will be his first mistake since taking reign at Madison Square Garden.

GARY CARTER IS A SERPENT

Former Big Apple catching legend Gary Carter publicly expressed interest in the New York Mets managerial position Friday, despite the fact that Willie Randolph is still under contract and running the Metropolitans.

“Boy, I’ll tell you what, I would love that (the Mets job),” said the outspoken Christian on the “Mike and Murray Show” broadcast on Sirius Satellite Radio. “I got on the phone and I called (Mets VP of Media Relations) Jay Horowitz and I asked Jay, ‘Should I try to call Mr. Wilpon?’ If there is this going on, I just want them to know of my availability.”

Carter, 54, who is currently managing the independent Orange County Flyers of the Golden Baseball League, is a serpent who also pined for Art Howe’s job when he was still the skipper in Flushing in 2004 .

Randolph is a class act and one can only hope that the day will come when he or someone else has the chance to pull a Judas and betray “Kid Carter” in the same fashion that he has to others.

JOBA CHAMBERLAIN

The New York Yankees announced Wednesday after they trounced the Baltimore Orioles 8-0 that they have begun the process of transitioning Joba Chamberlain (1-2, 2.66 ERA) from the bullpen into a starting pitcher. Chamberlain’s role with the Bomber’s has been hotly debated since he made his Major League debut in the Bronx last August.

“It’s not like I’m transforming into a different person,” said the 22-year-old Lincoln, Nebraska native. “I’m going to continue to use the stuff that I’ve got.”

Bombers owner Hank Steinbrenner has been adamant about his desire to see Chamberlain join the starting rotation as quickly as possible.

“You don’t have a guy with a 100-mile-per-hour fastball and keep him as a set-up guy,” said the brazen chain-smoker. “You just don’t do that. You have to be an idiot to do that.”

Big Hank can rest easy now and exhale his Marlboro smoke into the city air. The “Joba Rules” will soon be a thing of the past, and there is no clouding the possibility that a new ace may be about to emerge in the American League East.

Only an “idiot” couldn’t see that.

Thanks again for your readership. Without you all, I’d have zero reason to write.