Kip Dynamite Signs Multi-Fight Deal with Strikeforce

Sometimes, even the best of humanity will lose its senses, lost in the midst of the idiocy that has become our culture.

It's OK to have an imagination, but knocking someone out in your mind and knocking them out inside a cage are two completely different things.

When my opinion first hit the wire, Kip Dynamite had this to say:

Kip Dynamite: "Sterling, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter."

Sterling Spiars: "Since when Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time."

Kip Dynamite: "Try and hit me, Sterling."

Sterling Spiars: "What?"

Kip Dynamite: "I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me."

Don't be alarmed, Kip was graceful enough to release the shoulder-popping kimura that he slapped on my arm when I took a swing at him. Of course, this was only after I screamed "uncle" and proclaimed myself the president of Twig Bone City as well as the first lady.

I am definitely not a fighter; my weapons do not include fists, legs, and elbows.

However, if utilized properly with patience and respect, the weapons I do possess can cut deeper than anything a cage fighter can wield.

The pens I operate can slaughter a million parents and raise the children to do exactly as I command. I simply chose not to abuse my self-given gift of awesomeness.

So don't patronize me when I deem Herschel Walker...I mean Kip Dynamite, unworthy to step inside the cage against the likes of Brett Rogers, Fabricio Werdum, Allistair Overeem, and Fedor Emelianenko.

You sir, are no Ray Mercer. You do not carry the 19-plus years of boxing experience under your belt.

An athlete? Yes!

A fighter? No!

I only rant this nonsense because it would be a shame to see Kip Dynamite laying unconscious on the mat.

Betwixt the madness, I still do wish the best of luck to Herschel Walker...er, I mean Kip Dynamite in his professional MMA career with Strikeforce.