Eleven Questions I'd Ask Urban Meyer and Lane Kiffin in a Sit Down, Together

Jonny SAnalyst ISeptember 22, 2009

Obviously this scenario is a hypothetical one.

Nonetheless, I would love the opportunity to sit down with Florida's Head Coach Urban Myer and Tennessee's Head Coach Lane Kiffin...together.

The two coaches have been at a war of words for several months now. Kiffin started it all by proclaiming sarcastically that the Vols would beat UF this year and sing "Rocky Top" all the way home. Meyer however, hasn't moved away from the spotlight and continues to fuel the fire and make both coaches sound silly. 

Meyer was quoted on Sunday, "When I saw them start handing the ball off, I didn't feel like they were going after the win." Now, why in the world does Meyer care? His team won, he should move on to discussing the Kentucky game and leave it at that. Meyer wasn't done though, "...I remember looking out there and there's 10 minutes left in the game and there's no-no huddle, they are down,  I think it was 23-6 and there's [no urgency]."

Again, Meyer, why do you care? You won!

You look just as classless as Kiffin in this instance and prove again why so many people in the CFB don't like you. Meyer also made a ton of excuses after the game for the way his team played because of the flu. I have no issue with him pointing the fact out that several guys were sick, but lay off the excuses, Urban.

Now comes Lane, and of course he wasn't quiet in his response to Urban's low blows.

When Kiffin was asked whether or not he was worried about his team catching the flu he said, "I don't know. I guess we'll have to wait and after a performance we are not excited about, we will tell you everybody was sick." Very good response, and Urban deserves this, but considering Kiffin started the war, maybe he should have kept it quiet. Heck, never mind, this makes the rivalry even better and hopefully this continues until 2010! Go at it guys.

Back to my interview and the eleven questions I would love to ask the two coaches in a 3 on 3 interview. Strap their arms to a lie detector and let's get going with the Q and A. Here they are...

1). Urban, why are you such a jerk? Not just to Lane and Tennessee but most people who have dealt with you don't like you, why? 

2). Lane, why are you so arrogant? Humility is a great tool to teach college kids, you know?

3). Urban, what bothers you more...Lane's cockiness or the perfectly curved visors he wears?

4). Lane, how about you, what bothers you about Urban...his angry demeanor or the fact that he uses more hair gel than you?

5). Urban, do you think after Tebow graduates, UF will be in a huge rebuilding mode? And will you beat Tennessee next year, in Knoxville?

6). Lane, how many violations did you really break in the offseason? 

7). Urban, who is a better offensive mind, you or Lane? Could Lane have done an equally good job with your team and a leader like Tebow?

8). Lane, Swap teams a minute, would Urban have beat you with your Vols team last weekend? What would the final score be?

9). Urban, get it off your chest. Tell Lane what you really want to say. And, any guarantees the next year?

10). Lane, who's the better coach—you, Pete Carroll, or Urban Meyer? Remember, you are hooked to a lie detector machine...

11). To both of you, which one of your wives is hotter? Urban, relax. The results won't go public.


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