Why Like the Eagles?: A Philadelphia Fan's Rant After the New Orleans Loss

Walt HaleyContributor ISeptember 21, 2009

Good Morning boys and girls!  There is no better feeling than a Monday after a horrible Eagles loss. 

I can’t listen to sports talk radio, I cannot read the Philadelphia Daily News or I cannot watch Sportscenter without being reminded of the stink bomb the Eagles laid on Sunday. 

My week after an Eagles loss is completely thrown out of whack.  I cannot enjoy my normal routine of reading on the John until my legs turn numb or listen to the radio on the way to and from work.  I have to listen to one of the two CD’s in my car and the selections are not good. 

I have ever word memorized on the ABBA’s greatest hits CD and I can only listen to the first two songs on the Public Enemy CD, the rest skip furiously.    

The Waltdog needs to get a few things off of his chest after yesterday’s game.

If I were mayor for a day I would head to the stadium during the next home game and make Eagles fan’s entering the stadium take a pop quiz.

I would ask them four simple questions, such as:

1) Have you ever called into 610 WIP (the #1 Morning sports show) during the Angelo Cataldi morning show or the Howard Eskin show?

2) Have you ever gotten into an argument about who is a bigger Eagles fan with another Eagles fan?

3) Do you wish the Eagles would fire Andy Reid?

4) Have you ever wished the Eagles would get rid of Donavan McNabb?

If you answered yes to any of these four questions, you would not be allowed in the stadium ever again! 

Then I would punch you in the face.  After this law was passed, the stadium would be more enjoyable, even if there were only fourteen fans allowed in to see the game live.

Eagles fans are the worst.  People on television and radio talk about the fans being passionate and knowledgeable about football; they are just being polite and trying to avoid getting pelted with eggs and batteries on their next visit to Philadelphia. 

Eagles fans are stupid, impatient and annoying as all hell.

Andy Reid is the BEST coach in Eagles history, period. 

Donavan McNabb is the best quarterback in Eagles history, period. 

I actually heard someone call the Eagles post game show yesterday and say they hoped McNabb didn’t come back.  Are you serious?  If he doesn’t come back, the Eagles won’t win six games. 

That comment enhances my point that Eagles fans are stupid. 

I also heard Bill Bergey (whom I like) complain about the Eagles fans booing Kolb during the game.  Listen up Bill Bergey, when was the last time you paid for a ticket to an Eagles game? 

I pay 70 bucks to get into the game and $48 for a half-filled cup of beer.  I will boo whoever I want to boo, whenever I want too.  Who the hell are you to say that the fans shouldn’t boo? 

The Eagles sucked yesterday, including Kolb.  That interception to begin the second half was horrible!  I don’t care if Kolb was 48 for 48 with 600 yards passing and 5 TD passes.  If I feel like booing him, he is going to get booed.  I will boo him for the way he walks, or the way he wears his hat on the sidelines.  It is my right as a paying customer. 

If Kevin Kolb cannot take the booing, then he needs to find another profession.  Players get paid millions of dollars to play a game for a living.  Deal with it.  If Kolb (or anyone else) needs codling, it is time for them to find a new profession. 

I am sure Kolb can find a nice paying job at a firm that has a Saturday morning touch football team that desperately needs a ringer quarterback. 

Hell maybe he would only throw 2 interceptions in that game. 

I like Andy Reid, obviously he has his faults, but he did the entire paying fan base a disservice yesterday. 

The special teams were just God awful.  That was the worst performance I have ever seen out of any of the units during the Andy Reid era. 

I lost count but I think they had 42 penalties, a fumble and two absolutely terrible punts. 

During one of the good punt returns, there were five flags on the field, caused by two different clipping penalties, resulting in the Eagles getting the ball at their own two yard line. 

That is unacceptable.  These people are paid professionals.  It is as if they have never practiced at all.    

After the atrocious first half the special teams unit put up, to start the second half with a fumble (which resulted in a quick touchdown for the Saints) is not acceptable.

After the fumble, Andy Reid should have walked over to one of those phones on the sidelines and hooked his headset to the stadium PA system. He should of adamantly apologized to every fan on the PA systems and fired the special teams coach right there on the spot.  Andy should have told him that he is no longer allowed in the locker room and that he should head right to his car; someone would bring his personal belongings out to him in the parking lot. 

The paying customer does not deserve this.  It is expensive as hell to go to a game these days.  At a minimum, it's 75 bucks for ticket, 20 bucks to park and you haven’t even entered the stadium yet. 

After Sav Rocca’s second 14 yard punt, giving the Saints the ball at the Eagles 48, Andy should have gotten back on the PA system and apologized again, then tell Sav to take his helmet, shoulder pads, pants, jersey and cleats off and head to the parking lot. 

Let him do the walk of shame in his jock strap, if he even wears one.  I would make him call a cab too.  He sucks that bad. It is partly Andy’s fault too, because he did not bring in any competition for Sav Rocca during training camp.  He wasn’t that good last year either, so that surprised me.

This would have never happened under Jim Harbaugh, which is why he is a great head coach now too. 

The Eagles better figure this out quick, or it will be the end of the McNabb and Reid era, and the stupid fans will get their wishes of a boatload of 8-8 or less finishes for another decade. 

I hate this city.  


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