HOWARDisgusting Volume II: Eduardo Gets Officially Pardoned

David JacobsCorrespondent ISeptember 20, 2009

BLOEMFONTEIN, SOUTH AFRICA - JUNE 15:  Referee Howard Webb in action during the FIFA Confederations Cup match between Brazil and Egypt at The Free State Stadium on June 15, 2009 in Bloemfontein, South Africa.  (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

Yes my fellow Bleacher Creatures, it's official. I pardon Eduardo because there are more corrupt/dodgier people than him. Like the FA's officials.

I knew the FA don't want the premiership to lose its worldwide fame due to a
top team NOT winning the title for once.

Two highly controversial games happened today.
A Manchester Derby and Chelsea v Spurs ended in total controversy.

At Old Trafford, what should've been four minutes added time sneakily turned into "until Manchester United score the winner." Six minutes.

Owen scored the winner in what was eventually a 4-3 victory.

I recently heard Sky Sports News read out an e-mail from someone asking why City and other football fans complain when a top team like United score the winner in the last minute.

He went on to say in the e-mail that injury was 'at least' four minutes. My answer to that is this;

Had injury time lasted the official four minutes, plus 30 seconds to allow a final attack from either team), it would've been tied at 3-3. But no.

Manchester City deserved a draw today, maybe even a win.
94 minutes should be 94 minutes, allowing a maximum of 30-60 seconds for a final attack.

It turns out that referees and 'fourth officials' (a.k.a. 'I'm even less qualified to officiate than the ref and the linesmen') either cannot count four and a half minutes or still like to crumble with a case of "Top Fouritis."

Onto the Chelsea v. Spurs game now. Howard Webb, you are officially one of the most biased referees to ever grace (actually, flop onto) the game.

Spurs were playing very well during the first half, despite a few very silly line-up decisions by Redknapp which had Keane on the left looking uncomfortable and a 4-3-3 to try and combat Ancelotti's flawless "diamond" formation.

Howard Webb officiated the game today.
Possible fan reaction:

Chelsea - :)
Spurs - :/

Turns out both were correct.

Keane did make a bit more noise than necessary about a penalty. I wouldn't have given that one myself. However, Webb denied Lennon and Defoe
free kicks, refused to give a penalty to Crouch when he was blatantly barged by Ashley Cole with no intent from Cole to head the ball and halted the game when Drogba ran down the clock as usual with a new improvised drama sketch, featuring such dialogue as:

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! I just did a terrible shot. My leg hurts like hell!! AAAHH make it stop, make it stop!! Oh no.....NOOOOOO.....I can't feel my leg.....that's my diving leg too :( aaaaahhhh!!!"

I can only think of one positive from today's Spurs match and the
Manchester Derby:

Today has proved and exposed one giant conspiracy to keep the top teams
at the top so that the Premiership still maintains its worldwide recognition.

That will make other non-English countries continue paying for the rights to broadcast the games.

Money really has rotted football to the core. Somebody once told me that matches had temporarily been completely off-air in China to prevent Asian syndicates fixing the games. What has football evolved into? I implore you.

Conspiracy theory anyone?




Carlo Ancelotti - awwwww bellissimo. You looka so good togethaaaa.
Howard Webb - Yeh I'm Fergie's biatch lolz x


Drogba was running down the clock as usual.