A Selection of Fantasy Baseball Annoyances
I find that no matter how well I'm doing in my fantasy baseball league, there's always something to gripe about. The game sets you up to feel beat down constantly. No category lead ever seems large enough. No twist of fate is ever cruel enough.
The little things that just don't go your way seem to outweigh the things that do, even when the good results outnumber the bad.
Here, then, are some of the game's little annoyances that seem to pop up over and over. (Note: This was written from the perspective of a 12-team, 5x5, head-to-head league with daily transactions.)
A real team puts up big numbers, but your players don't show up for the party.
Wow, the Phillies scored 20 runs! I can't wait to see the damage Burrell did! Or...maybe not. This happened to me three times over the past week. The Phillies beat Colorado 20-5 and Washington 12-2. The Tigers (cliche warning) mauled Minnesota 19-3. In those three games, Pat Burrell and Carlos Guillen went a combined 1-for-11 with 1 RBI. Way to pitch in guys. You couldn't even bring some chips? Or cups?
I think that's actually worse than when you check the box score only to find out that your guy got the day off while his teammates were playing Ring-Around-the-Rockies.
Now, to be fair, the Tigers scored at least nine runs in five straight games and Guillen did get a share of the bounty. And Burrell chipped in nicely as the Phillies dismantled the Astros 15-6. But just think of the weeks they both could have had.
Rain pushes a start you were counting on to next week.
Sure, maybe now your ace is a two-start pitcher next week. But those Ks and the possible W you were counting on to be in play on Sunday? Gone.
Your opponent's closer blows a save for your starter, and then vultures the win for himself.
Sure, the opponent likely takes a small hit in ERA and WHIP. But that doesn't make you feel any better when your deserved W suddenly switches sides of the ledger.
The aberrant statistical performance.
Let me get this straight...there have only been 17 perfect games in the history of Major League Baseball and I get one thrown against my team? In a week when the pitching stats are tight? Granted, you don't have to worry about that extreme example too often. But why do you always seem to end up on the trampled end of A-Rod's 10-RBI night? Or worse, that week where your opponent's whole team goes nuts and posts a .380 average with 25 HRs and 90 RBIs.
Manager X decides that letting Pitcher Y pitch on three days rest is a good idea...
...Because that never results in 8 ER in 4+ IP. I'm looking at you, Bud Black and Jake Peavy.
Manager Y brings in Closer Z in a non save situation.
Whether your game uses ∞, --, or INF, you're likely to see it appear in your box score next to your closer's name. If you're lucky, you'll pick up a strikeout or two to accompany the 4 earned runs and the unceremonious hook.
The league doormat comes alive for one week. Your week.
You know that guy who couldn't touch you in the standings if he were using an 11-foot, medium-heavy, fast action G. Loomis surf rod with a Roberts Whistler and a headwind? Yeah, well Melky Cabrera and Matt Stairs just got hot and "Mr. 21 Wins and 49 Losses After Seven Weeks" just hauled you down to the tune of an ignoble 7-3 loss. This was the week you were supposed to be guaranteed at least a +4 in the standings. Not so fast. Livan Hernandez just threw his second shutout in five days.
Over the course of a season, most of this stuff tends to even out. But you'll have a hard time convincing yourself of that when Jayson Werth's 3 homers and 8 ribbies flip two offensive categories out of your favor.
Sound familiar? Feel free to post your own fantasy gripes.
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