NFL: 11 Random Thoughts From Week One
After one of the most exciting Week 1's in recent memory, I thought I would compile a list of random musings from the first week of competition. Enjoy.
1. Is it just me, or are the Miles Austin/Adrian Peterson/Mario Manningham touchdown runs signs that tackling technique among DBs is more of a dying art than the midrange jumper?
2. How long before Ochocinco or Cedric Benson pulls a gun out of his pads mid-run and goes “Beginning of The Last Boyscout” on the opposing defense? On a lighter note, “Child Please” is easily the second-most gangster thing to say to somebody before you pop a cap in their heiney behind Samuel L. Jackson’s diatribe from Pulp Fiction. "Child Please..." BLAOW! "And remember to kiss the baby...." You are telling me that doesn't sound like a line directly out of a Tarentino movie?
3. According to stories around the league, Jake Delhomme is making $16 million guaranteed this year. ESPN has reportedly deployed Adam Schefter to discover whether or not there is a clause that voids Delhomme’s contract if the number of interceptions he throws in one season exceeds the number of dollars he makes that year.
4. The Eagles signed Jeff Garcia on Monday. Along with Michael Vick, that now gives them two viable backup quarterbacks, or, as I like to call them, two “reason for Crazy Philly Fan to boo Donovan McNabb’s first rough outing and call for his benching”s. Either there is something they aren’t telling us about McNabb, or they are trying to drive McNabb crazier than Kathy Bates in “Misery.”
5. The Rams shouldn’t be scratching their heads as to why the got goose egged by the Seattle Seahawks. The best player on their entire team, Steven Jackson, only touched the ball 16 times, with zero receptions. This is a player who, last time he was this healthy, caught 90 balls, recorded 2,334 total yards and racked 16 touchdowns. I know Donnie Avery and Laurent Robinson are sweet, but give this man the ball! Does that have anything to do with the fact that he’s on my fantasy team? Absolutely!
6. The loss the Bengals took this weekend was something that only happens when playing Madden on the “All-Madden” difficulty, in which the computer will literally do anything short of striking your quarterback with a bolt of HD lightening to prevent your potentially game-winning drive from being successful.
7. What was more surprising: Joe Flacco throwing for over 300 yards in his first start of his second NFL season, or a Tyler Thigpen-led Kansas City Chiefs offense being able to put up more than -4 points on the Ravens' defense?
8. If you were playing Family Feud, and the category came up as “Teams Most Likely to Suffer a Crushing and Improbable Week One Losses,” wouldn’t the first three answers look something like, “Bengals – 37 votes, Raiders – 25 votes, Bills - 21 votes?”
9. Tony Romo sure didn’t seem to miss his buddy Terrell Owens on Sunday, setting several career bests in the passing game. The explanation? Either a new-found liberation from feeling the need to force a ball to a player regardless of coverage simply to keep him happy, or a liberation from nagging thoughts like, “I can’t believe Jessica asked how strong these ‘mussels’ were before we ate them…wow I hope she’s not pregnant?”
10. Why the Patriots would ever run anything other than a 4-to-5 wide receiver shotgun offense 100% of the time is beyond me. I’m talking a pass/run balance that would make Andy Reid weak in the knees. What they did to the Bills' pass defense in the final five minutes of that game was scary. Whatever neurons that fired in Leodis McKelvin's brain that made him conclude bringing that kick out of the end zone should be fired.
11. Combining the Bengals game with botched fumble call against the Chargers week two of last year, do the Broncos now have two of the most improbable gift victories in the last decade of NFL football? Are they really the Road Runner to the rest of the league’s Wile E. Coyote, just barely scraping through life-threatening situations, leaving Leon Hall stuck under a huge anvil that says ACME on the side? All in all, the microcosm game of one of the most exciting Week Ones in recent memory. Can't believe there are 16 more left just like it.
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