Fatty's Iron-Clad NFL Picks for Week 1

Pro Football NYCSenior Writer ISeptember 12, 2009

Yes, the ultimate guru is back!

The paunchy prognosticator is in the house to provide his followers with his uncanny ability to pick football games.

Last year, the obese oracle went 41-10 in the regular season, and an incredible 10-1 in the post-season. When he speaks (usually with his mouth full), you should pay attention.

Week One's Three Best Bets

SAINTS (-13) over Lions

The Lions didn't win a game last season. Odds are they'll win a few this year. This ain't one of them. The Saints and Drew Brees can score loads of points on anyone, period. Detroit's quest for a win will have to wait.

New Orleans will empty their guns on the improved Lions, who are starting a rookie at QB. This is a layup. If this were a boxing match, it would be like a heavyweight fighting a lightweight. Ugly. Lay that lumber.

Bears (+4) over PACKERS

Regardless of personnel, never lay more than three points in this rivalry. That being said, I am going to make a habit of taking points with Jay Cutler.

The Bears steamrolled Giants’" onclick="return(Jiglu.overlayOpen(this))">the Giants' first-string defense in the pre-season. If they could do that, what are they going to do to Green Bay?

The Packers will need to score 30 points in this game to win. If you think they can do that, good for you. Hand over your money right now. This game is a take all the way.

BROWNS (+4) over Vikings

Everyone's taking the Vikings, which is good. Maybe the spread will climb to five. Under Brad Childress, the Twin City chokers have gone 4-7 in the month of September.

Now they go to Cleveland, outdoors on grass—not their best venue—going only 4-11 over the past three seasons on natural turf.

Still wanna lay the points? Go ahead. They may win, but not by four...