Gameday! What to Do and Where To Do It For Ohio State Vs. USC

(Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Going to the game Saturday?

Don't know what to do until 8:00 rolls around?

Here are a few pointers...

8:00 AM Wake up and get you ass moving. I know it's early on a Saturday and the game isn't for twelve but hours, but you got stuff to do!

8:45 AM Head over to College Gameday and see if there's still a spot in the masses. Position yourself in the optimal spot to get on TV. And be loud!!!

10:59 Around this time Corso will be putting on the Trojan head gear. Boo like you've never booed in your life. Yell obscenities if you feel compelled. And don't fall for his "pump fake." This is when he takes the head gear of the home team (prompting a loud cheer), then throws it aside and puts on the other head gear. Listen. Corso WILL PICK USC. It's a done deal so don't embarrass OSU by letting Corso look good.

12:00 So it's lunch time and you're probably hungry. Don't go buy food! Hit up the tailgate scene and grab a beer and bratwurst from a fellow Buckeye fan. Don't like brats? No worries. Believe me when I say tailgating will be in full swing and there will be more options than a food court. Any fried or grilled food you can think of will be somewhere.

3:00 After the buzz has set in and you've eaten more than Joey Chestnut, you have two options.

Option 1: If you are young and/or in shape, find some cocky USC fans and show them how we play touch football in Ohio. Demoralize them and make sure you have sweet touchdown dances. If you can pull off the river dance, go for it. Or you could just be a B.A. and don't say a word. But it has to be one extreme or the other.

Option 2: If you are fat and out of shape, position yourself where a lot of people are walking. When USC fans walk by, heckle them relentlessly. Be loud and obnoxious. After all, we have a reputation to uphold!

4:30 At this time, you better start making your way to the St John's Arena for the skull session to see "the Best Damn Band in the Land". I know it doesn't start 'til six, but you got to get there early for good seats. If you haven't seen one of these, you have to go. Very cool. And it gets you pumped to scream for four hours.

Whenever the skull session ends (6:35ish):

If you are going to the game...Make your way to the stadium and be sure to take everything in. The atmosphere will be crazy about this time. The sun will be starting to set, but the party will excitement level will be rising through the roof.

If you don't have a ticket...If you want to check out the stadium atmosphere, go ahead, but you might be late in seeing the start of the game. If you don't have a tailgate to go to, there are still a few great options. Hineygate might be gone, but The Varsity Club is always a solid option with a great atmosphere.

So now you have no excuse to not know what to do on game day.

Enjoy the game!

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