Melanie Oudin F-Bomb Doll Now on Sale! (Humor)

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Melanie Oudin F-Bomb Doll Now on Sale! (Humor)
(Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

Somewhere in the United States, a profiteering marketer is scheming to capitalize on the rising fame of young tennis star Melanie Oudin.  The commercial campaign would go something like this:

On a pink background screen the words flash on the screen to start the commercial.

Warning: The following commercial is rated NP, for children viewing only and may contain scenes intended only for teens and pre-teens. Children distracting parents is advised.

Announcer:  Hey kids!  You have seen her on television and watched her be the comeback kid of the 2009 US Open. She's Melanie Oudin and K-Tel presents THE MELANIE OUDIN F-BOMB doll!!

The Melanie Oudin F-Bomb doll does all the things you wish you could do. It fights and fights to get what it wants and occasionally just occasionally you'll hear the F-bomb! Now you can use that F-bomb without ever having to say it, and there's nothing your parents can do about it. 

Scene goes to a daughter playing with her doll and her mother in the other room.

Mother: Karen honey, clean up your room, it is a mess!!

The child is enjoying her play is disturbed and goes to the Melanie Oudin doll and pushes the button on her nose.

Melanie Oudin Doll: F * C K !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mother:  What did I just hear you say!!!

Karen:  It wasn't me, Mom.  It was the doll.

The mother shakes her head and walks away.

Announcer:  The Melanie Oudin F-Bomb Doll can be yours for only $49.95 plus shipping and handling.  Don't worry about the pricing, kids.  Just get your Daddy's credit card and call this toll free 1-800 number flashing on the screen and we'll take care of the rest. 

The Melanie Oudin F-Bomb is also available in French, Spanish, and German.  Call now and we will send you a free stink-mode that starts when a parent tries to take the doll away from you.  You'll never part with your doll again!  The Melanie Oudin F-Bomb doll available now only by calling.  Not available in stores.  Batteries sold separately!!

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