Ten Things Arkansas Razorbacks Fans Can Do to Pass the Time on Bye Week

It is unusual, to say the least, for college football teams to have a bye week so early in the football season. UA Athletics Director Jeff Long reportedly searched high and low for an opponent willing to play this weekend. It would have been preferable to take the week off later, maybe in October, about halfway through the season.

No takers were found, so here we are with no opponent to jeer this week. There will be 11 games on the next 11 Saturdays with no break. What to do?

Here are 10 ways for an Arkansas Razorback fan to spend this weekend with no Hog game on the slate:

1. Watch the Georgia-South Carolina game to scout next week's foe and a later one as well. For fun, maybe bet your neighbor or co-worker as to how many constipated grimaces will form on the face of the Ol' Ball Coach, followed by the outdoor record for visor-throwing.

2. Check your furnace, as it will be turning cold before too long. Besides, as many Hog fans have commented for years, the hot place would freeze over before the Hogs would lead the nation in passing, even after one game.

3. Wonder aloud what Bobby Petrino said to kicker Alex Tejada after the second of two out of bounds kickoffs.

4. Wonder when the honeymoon will be over between former coach Houston Nutt and Ole Miss fans.

5. Wonder when the national media's love affair with Houston Nutt will sour, if ever.

6. Wonder how long the pee wee league handshakes before college football games will last. My guess is until the Tennessee-Florida match in late September.

7. Speculate as to what would happen if strong-armed Hog QB Ryan Mallett pulled a Paul Crewe from The Longest Yard (the original, not the Adam Sandler remake) and hurled the football into the nether regions of a rushing defensive lineman.

8. Speculate as to how long it would take for Hog backup QB Tyler Wilson to enter the game after No. 7.

9. Watch the Notre Dame-Michigan game and wonder which coach will get axed first if their team has another bad season and which is the bigger jerk. My money is on Charlie Weis, who clearly outweighs Rich Rodriguez.

10. Wonder if Tim Tebow has a healthcare plan and if his helmet will fit over his halo.