[Editor's note: This post is dedicated to Ryan Russell and Nick Gerlach.]
Hands down on the best running series in the sports blogosphere is Drew Magary’s incomparable Why Your Team sucks series at Deadspin. No, it is not the kind of material that I would ever forward to my mom or dad to read…but that is precisely what makes it so sublime.
Here is the description that opens up every one of these posts, to give you an idea of their purpose: “Some people are fans of the [insert team name]. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the [insert team name]. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.”
Today, Drew finished off the series by regaling Deadspin readers with funny, sophomoric, and expletive-filled prose describing the many ways why the Pittsburgh Steelers, their fans, and their city unequivocally suck.
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and it is today’s link of the day.
Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers — (Drew Magary via Deadspin)
6. The Steel Curtain is the worst metaphor ever. They’re curtains. They either open in the center, or they can be drawn upwards to allow you to pass through. That is the function of a curtain. It doesn’t matter what material it’s made from: steel, adamantium, chiffon. ALL CURTAINS ARE EASILY PENETRATED SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE THEY ARE DESIGNED THAT WAY. Call it the Steel Wall. Or the Steel Monolith. Call it something that connotes impenetrability. A curtain intimidates no one…
And then there is this, from the smorgasboard of write-in comments included at the end of each Why Your Team Sucks post. This guy is definitely a Browns fan:
So many Pittsburgh fans are from Ohio, and they are the biggest bandwagon fans in the world. These troglodytes have never even been to Pennsylvania, and yet they adorn their overweight, uneducated bodies with gaudy yellow and black, and call themselves true Steeler fans.
And that we have that out of the way, onto the rest of today’s links.
- Allen Iverson meets with Memphis Grizzlies — (MoonDog)
- Mark May wears ridiculous ties to honor the ridiculous things he says — (Sports Hernia)
- The best signs from the first college football Saturday of the year — (College Game Balls)
- Another vote for Chris Carpetner for NL Cy Young Award — (But The Game Is On)
- Apple gets free advertising at new Cowboys Stadium — (Sports By Brooks)
- Bears’ depth chart proves flowers more important than skill — (Not Qualified to Comment)
- David Thompson to present Michael Jordan and HOF induction — (Yahoo! Sports)
- Why your team sucks: Cleveland Browns — (Drew Magary at Deadspin)
- Early look at Bears-Packers — (i94 Sports)
- The Week That Was in College Football — (Sparty and Friends)
- Good, classy move by Daunte Culpepper — (Pro Football Talk)
- BYU students go crazy after OU win — (Busted Coverage)
- Random Retro Cubs: Scott Sanderson — (The Friendly Blogfines)
- 15 people who should never be allowed to dance — (Hail Mary Jane)
- Dad’s rants become a Twitter hit — (WSJ about @shitmydadsays)
* – Hilariously-named “Randy Beefsmith” photo credit: The Sports Hernia