Red Wing Fan Heaven - Anticipating My First Trip to the Joe (Part 2)
I brought the tickets home from work.
"Game 2 Stanley Cup Finals. Detroit Red Wings vs. Pittsburgh Penguins. Date TBA. $215."
I flipped one of the tickets over and noticed that it had a coupon printed on the back for $1 off a hot dog from one the local Coney Dog restaurants.
I scratched my head and pondered the absurdity of a $1 coupon for a chili dog on the back of a $220 dollar ticket (of course $5 added for handling fees).
Speaking of absurd, I wonder how many octopuses will be meeting their untimely demise at the game?
There's no doubt that it's a cool tradition that has quite a bit of history, but one has to wonder what kind of pharmaceuticals the guy was on when he came up with that brilliant idea. Not to mention the people that let him keep on doing it.
About the only thing more absurd than seeing somebody throw an octopus on the ice would have to be seeing somebody throw a big ole honking catfish on the ice, like they apparently do in Nashville.
In my mind, I picture the guy launching the fish as being toothless. He would be clad in jean overalls without a shirt and a rope belt tied around his waist. After the dirty deed was done, he'd flee the arena with security hot on his tail to the tune of dueling banjos and a hooting rebel yell.
Wait, here's a thought!
My first Red Wings hockey game at the Joe, and I COULD BE CHUCKING THE OCTOPUS!
But where the hell do you buy an octopus?
I Googled 'Detroit Octopus' and managed to dig up some history on that whole gig.
Whoa, Wikipedia even has a tutorial on how to smuggle in the octopus!
Apparently you can buy octopuses from the fish store. I wonder how many they sell that aren't destined for the ice? I'm more of a steak man myself.
They recommend that you boil the octopus before you bring it in so it doesn't smell so much.
Call me crazy, but if you can walk around with an octopus and people can't tell the smell of the octopus from the smell of you, you may want to put personal hygiene higher on your list of priorities.
The schmuck scraping that gooey mess off the ice will appreciate it also because they won't stick so much.
Apparently, they do frown upon people chucking things out on the ice, so you do have to smuggle the octopus in. Wikipedia recommends some ingenious tactics for psyching out arena security so you don't get kicked out of the game. I'm sure they work, too (wink, wink)!
They also make it very clear that it is NEVER acceptable to fling the octopus at any opposing player.
Even if that player is Sid Crosby.
Boy, that would look weird on an injury report. "Out for 1 period due to suction cup hickeys to the face."
Wait, even better than an octopus!
We have Franzen! The MULE!!!!!!
Nah, that'd be WAY too hard to smuggle in to the Joe.
What is the duplicate article?
Why is this article offensive?
Where is this article plagiarized from?
Why is this article poorly edited?