University of Memphis: Pom Pom Squad Overpowering, Offense Not So Overpowering

Ryne E. HancockCorrespondent ISeptember 6, 2009

Not too long ago, I saw that the Florida Marlins were considered by many as the smartest organization in baseball because they employ hot chicks who keep the fans entertained when the Marlins aren't doing so well.

If you let me tell it, the reason the University of Memphis is the smartest football program in the country is because of the fact that there are hot chicks on the pom squad today that probably could have done better at quarterback than Arkleon Hall.

In today's 45-14 thrashing at the hands of No. 8 Ole Miss, Hall and company had the ball longer than Ole Miss (32:27 to be exact) and ran more plays than the Rebels.

Pretty accomplished, don't you think?


Hall, who probably would have been outplayed by any of my female friends (insert name please), looked more lost than anything out there on the field by doing one thing a quarterback should never do.

He overthrew the ball to a tall receiver who has the ability to just reel the ball in for the catch with their long arm.

Second thing on the list?

A botched draw play on 4th-and-inches. Being that I once played quarterback, anytime you've got a 4th-and-inches, you pound the middle with the running back, which means the line shifts forward and the running back goes through for the extra inch.

Not a shotgun play.

The thing that I also gathered from this debacle was the fact that the play calling by Clay Helton, who probably has a two-by-four for a brain, was indeed questionable.

Your team is down 21 points against a top-10 team, and you decide to play footsie instead of manning up and putting up a fight.

You don't run the play clock down to 15 seconds when you're trying to get back in the game with 10 minutes to play.

That's stupid.

And then in the postgame conference, instead of being riled up about the plethora of mistakes, Coach West just shrugs it off, and instead of taking responsibility for some of the problems in the game, he shifts it towards a single lineman.

Not a good way to motivate your team and certainly not a way to boost team morale.

If the Tigers lose to Middle Tennessee next week in Murfreesboro, chances are the same 50 million people who read the message boards or participate in them are going to be ready to pack Coach West's belongings and send him on his merry way back to Georgia so he collaborate with Gucci Mane.

And the ones who go to the games, all they will have to look forward to is the performances by the pom squad.

Don't forget the beer, either.