Hello everyone. As always, I would like to thank all of you for spending some time with me today.
Well it is once again, time for a new edition of “Wrestling world news”. It is the only column that dares to report the stories that the world doesn’t want you to see.
Due to the nature of the stories content, and for the safety of my sources, they will not be reveled. It is strongly advised that if you are weak at the heart or stomach, that you do not proceed reading this any further.
AJ Styles stalked by a local fan
In Goosberg Georgia it is being reported that AJ Styles was recently being stalked by a fan, this all started when AJ was wrestling local bad guy Ernest Mc Evil at the Goosberg arena.
According to AJ, at one point during the match he was thrown out of the ring and hit his head hard on the floor. While recovering AJ heard a whispering voice that said help me. As he pulled himself up on the timekeepers table all he saw was a fan blowing air.
Not thinking much more of the situation, he would get back into the ring and finish the match. It would turn out not to be AJ’s night though, as he would get pinned by McEvil. The night only got stranger for AJ though.
Still a little Dazed he decided he would stop off at the local “Stop and Sip” to pick up some aspirin. While he was adjusting his mirror he would discover a shocking revelation. The fan he saw on the timekeeper’s table was now in his back seat.
“I saw the fan and I thought to myself, what the heck? I figured it was just one of the boys pulling a rib on me after I told them about the strange voice I heard.”
As it would turn out though it had nothing to do with any prank by someone. While AJ was sleeping, he would again here the same whispering voice saying help me over and over.
When he turned on the light he was horrified to discover that the same fan was now on his nightstand. Deciding he had enough, AJ went to the arena the following morning to talk to the promoter Buff Biffington.
To his surprise though Biff knew exactly what was going on. It would turn out the voices he heard were none other than the ghost of Ivana Humpalot. She was a local ring rat that died of a broken heart after being dumped by none other than Ernest McEvil.
Ivana, since her passing has been haunting the arena since her death. In this instance she took possession of a regular fan so she can communicate with AJ.
“ I was relieved at first to find out I wasn’t going crazy.” Said AJ.”I guess she has been haunting the arena and other wrestlers for years now.”
AJ would decide to deal with the problem head on. So with the help of biff, they would find and hire local gypsy Susan Danfurder. Susan would perform a ritual and bring out the ghost of Ivana.
Once Ivana appeared she told AJ that she wanted revenge for what Ernest had done. They would find a solution to the problem when Biff created a career vs. career match. So now AJ, with his career on the line, would battle for the saddened specter.
The following night AJ and Ernest McEvil would go on to have a brutal match. In the end though AJ would prevail, and Ernest was forced to retire forever. It was an emotional night for everyone involved.
“ It was a tough battle, but I knew I had to win this match for Ivana. I was just happy that I was able to pull through for her.” “ I hope now her spirit can rest on peace.”
AJ would also tell us that as he was leaving the arena that night, he swore he heard a voice whisper thank you.
Local wrestler dies five minutes after wedding
In Mudtown, Mississippi.
In what should have been the happiest day in local wrestler Jonathan Jo Bers life; would turn into a disaster.
Jonathan had just got married to his new wife Susan Beth Jo bob. Like at a lot weddings, it is tradition to throw rice at the bride and groom. On this day it would wind up proving to be fatal though.
As Jonathan made his way down the stairs, he would end up swallowing a big mouthful if rice and choke to death. Local paramedics would try to revive the fallen grappler but it was to late.
The incident would leave his new wife Susan Beth Jo bob all choked up.
“We was supposed to go to that new fish place and a fancy motel for ours honeymoon.” Said Jo Bob. “ I thoughts I was finally going to get to leave this dump of a town.”
Luckily for the fallen bride Jonathans former tag team partner would step in and console her. He would not only take her to the new fish restaurant, but he was also nice enough to spend the night at the motel with her.
It was a sacrifice he was happy to make for his former in ring partner and long time friend.
“I figured it was the only right thing to do. She’s was all upset’s, and I couldn’t leave her crying on the floor like that.”
A salute is scheduled for next week at a local arena for the fallen Jonanthan, and as a tribute, his surviving wife will be a ring valet for his old tag team partner.
Bigfoot makes his wrestling debut
In Vallyforge, Virginia, the buzz is all over the place. What is all the buzz about? You may be asking yourself. Well in a month’s time, we will see for the first time ever, Big Foot step foot in the wrestling ring.
This would all come about in a weird twist of fate. The woods that Big foot lived in were recently torn down for housing. This would force the gentle giant to find another way to feed his family.
Try as he might the 8 feet tall hairy beast could not find work anywhere. While he wouldn’t say it publicly, he did hint that there might have been some discrimination involved. Luck would find its way to the hairy fellow though.
One day on his way home from an unsuccessful job search. He would run into local wrestling promoter Frankie “The Snake” Verduchie. He would be convinced by Verduchie to give the world of pro wrestling a try.
“I was skeptical at first” Said Bigfoot.” He didn’t come of very sincere at first, but after hearing him out, I decided to give him a chance. Besides times are tough and I need the money.”
His chance taking would pay off though, as he is now the highest paid wrestler in the whole area. It is being reported that people are flocking to the gym just to see him work out. As much as this move has helped Bigfoot, it has also gone on to help Frankie.
“What can I say, people love the furry goon. When I saw him I knew he had what it took. So I decided to make him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”
His first match is scheduled fro next month, and as it stands now tickets are impossible to get. It is being reported that this could be the biggest thing to hit wrestling since Hulk Hogan.
If you ask the big foot, his only concern is keeping food on his family’s table.
“Im doing this strictly for a paycheck. Once I get enough to buy a few hundred acres, I will take my family and move back out into the woods.”
How will Bigfoot’s adventures in wrestling pan out? Only time will tell. Please stay tuned for more breaking details on this story.
I would like to thank all of you again for joining me today.
As always, have a safe day and God bless
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