Dany Heatley To Suitors: "I'd Like To Be Traded By 2012" (Satire)
The Dany Heatley saga took another strange turn on Tuesday.
Apparently, the disgruntled Ottawa Senator has informed his next team, whomever that maybe, that he would like to be traded again within the next two years.
"At this point, it's not clear where I'll end up, but wherever it is, it will only be for the next two years, I'd like to be traded by 2012."
Heatley was resigned by the Ottawa Senators in 2007 to a six-year contract extension.
Though his contract will expire in 2013, the winger's preemptive trade request would put him on the market with one year remaining on the contract.
Originally drafted by Atlanta in 2000, Heatley, along with fellow draftee Ilya Kovalchuk, was to be the foundation on which the Atlanta Thrashers would build their team.
However, after recovering from a devastating car crash that killed teammate Dan Snyder in 2003, Heatley returned to the Thrashers a changed man.
The death of Snyder and Heatley's difficulty getting past it was cited as the primary reason for his trade request made before the start of the 2005-06 season.
On August 23, 2005, Atlanta traded Heatley to the Ottawa Senators in exchange for Marian Hossa and Greg DeVries.
Ottawa was one of just a few destinations Heatley approved a move to and the move was one Heatley said he was happy with at the time.
Heatley was to be a part of an outstanding offense in Ottawa that included Jason Spezza and Daniel Alfredsson. Collectively, these three were to be the nucleus around which the rest of the team would be built, which lead to his contract extension in 2007.
Heatley's second trade request has again put his team in a bad position compounded by Ottawa's inability to find the right trade partner.
As Los Angeles Kings GM Dean Lombardi has publicly stated his team will not be among Heatley's suitors, the rumored destinations for Heatley have been reduced to Edmonton or San Jose.
Asked if LA's announcement had any influence on Heatley's request to be traded in two years, he responded, "No, not at all. I mean, I probably would have gone to LA if the deal was there, I know the chicks are really hot out there and I really like sushi. I mean if it was LA, I might not ask to be traded in two years."
This unusual move suggests that Heatley may simply be trying to put his next team in a better position than he has his last two.
"At this point, I know myself well enough to know that I just can't be satisfied in one place for too long, so I figured, I should just let people know now how it is going to be", Heatley said.
When it was suggested that this announcement could further damage his trade value, Heatley replied, "I don't think so, in fact, I think it makes this a better deal for anyone who gets me, you know? I mean, I'm Dany [expletive deleted] Heatley, who wouldn't want me for a guaranteed two years? I'm also giving them the chance to work on a really smokin' deal over the next two seasons, they won't have to scramble like [Senators GM Brian] Murray is right now."
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