Dear Charles Barkley…Keep Gambling!

Dear Charles… 

Say it isn’t so!  I just read the unfortunate news. 

According to a reliable source, namely you, Charles Barkley is not going to gamble any more. 

After a recent episode that saw the Wynn Las Vegas Resort file a civil complaint against you for not paying back $400,000 worth of markers (like they need the money), you had an epiphany and announced Monday night on TNT, “I’m not going to gamble anymore.” 

What?  Sir Charles not gambling would be like… Sir Charles not eating.  Or Sir Charles not wanting to eat.  Or Sir Charles not talking about eating or wanting to eat.   

Look, just because you’ve lost millions of dollars and all the Vegas casinos have you in their “Five,” doesn’t mean you should stop gambling.  It means you should start winning.  Once you start winning, your problems are solved. 

You’ll never get on that once in a lifetime, legendary winning streak if you quit now!  Which is why you shouldn’t.    

I’d feel differently about all of this if you blackjacked yourself broke.  If you had, I’d be suggesting gamblers anonymous and an ankle bracelet that shocks your central nervous system anytime you cross the Nevada border.  

But you’re still rich.  Your finances are fine.  You said so on Monday night’s broadcast.  And since I haven’t come across your MVP award on Ebay, I’ll take you at your word. 

To be honest, it’s not your actual betting that’s important to me.  It’s the matter of fact way in which you’ve historically instructed your holier than thou critics to kiss your ample backside. 

You have millions of dollars, you’ve argued, and if you want to gamble your fortune away that’s your right.  Amen.

See, the Charles Barkley I know has always said what he meant and meant what he said.  And in a world that’s becoming increasingly politically correct and overrun by spin, it’s your one of a kind personality and candor that sets you apart from all the other ex-jock’s who inhabit our television screens.  

Which is why if you stop gambling now, those pious critics, the same ones who once blasted you for correctly reminding us that you’re “not paid to be a roll model,” will win. 

And we can’t have that.    

So here’s my unsolicited advice.  Not only should you continue to gamble, you should do it on television for the whole world to see.  I’m thinking a reality show entitled, “Gambling with the Chuckster.”  What could be better than getting paid to gamble?

Cameras could follow you through casinos, giving viewers an inside glimpse into what it’s like to lose (or maybe win) twenty-five grand on a hand of Pai Gow Poker. 

You could interview other high rolling celebrities and athletes at the tables in between hands.  There could also be a segment where you give wagering tips and table etiquette. 

When you win big, the audience will get to partake in a joyous night on the town with Round Mound of Roulette.  And when you lose big we’ll see your cranky, ornery side, which can be equally entertaining.

Look, the Charles Barkley I know doesn’t back down and he doesn’t quit anything… except diets.  And that’s the way I’d like it to stay.

Wageringly Yours,

Dave