Dear Charles…
Say it isn’t so! I just read the unfortunate news.
According to a reliable source, namely you, Charles Barkley is not going to gamble any more.
After a recent episode that saw the Wynn Las Vegas Resort file a civil complaint against you for not paying back $400,000 worth of markers (like they need the money), you had an epiphany and announced Monday night on TNT, “I’m not going to gamble anymore.”
What? Sir Charles not gambling would be like… Sir Charles not eating. Or Sir Charles not wanting to eat. Or Sir Charles not talking about eating or wanting to eat.
Look, just because you’ve lost millions of dollars and all the Vegas casinos have you in their “Five,” doesn’t mean you should stop gambling. It means you should start winning. Once you start winning, your problems are solved.
You’ll never get on that once in a lifetime, legendary winning streak if you quit now! Which is why you shouldn’t.
I’d feel differently about all of this if you blackjacked yourself broke. If you had, I’d be suggesting gamblers anonymous and an ankle bracelet that shocks your central nervous system anytime you cross the Nevada border.
But you’re still rich. Your finances are fine. You said so on Monday night’s broadcast. And since I haven’t come across your MVP award on Ebay, I’ll take you at your word.
To be honest, it’s not your actual betting that’s important to me. It’s the matter of fact way in which you’ve historically instructed your holier than thou critics to kiss your ample backside.
You have millions of dollars, you’ve argued, and if you want to gamble your fortune away that’s your right. Amen.
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