Chris Simonokoff: Simon Inks Deal to Play in Russia

Well, it has finally happened!

The NHL has depleted the Russian hockey talent so much that they are resorting to signing unskilled goons that should have been playing in a beer league in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan six years ago.

Reports are that Simon signed a deal with Vityaz Podolsk Chekhov.

He should fit in really well on the first line with Alexsandr Korolyuk and Oleg Kvasha, if he doesn't kick someone in the face and get suspended for 30 games first, which over there would be the entire season.

This season Simon was involved in a vicious incident that included a 30 game suspension for stomping his skate on the leg of Penguins forward Jarkko Ruutu in December.

Last season Simon was dealt a 25-game suspension for trying to perform oral surgery on Rangers forward Ryan Hollweg with a cross-check to the face.

Both were the longest suspensions ever given by the NHL for on-ice incidents.

So what gives?

Did someone in the Russian Hockey League recently watch the movie Slapshot?

I mean the Pittsburgh Penguins did smuggle Evgeni Malkin away from his club team, is this payback?

If it is someone made a horrible mistake.

Maybe they were looking at Simon's stats from 1999-00 with the Capitals where he popped in 29 goals and added 20 helpers?

Whatever has gone on here, I'm sure it won't be long until Simon does something stupid.

The fact is, I used to like Simon; he was an enforcer who showed he could play.

In reality though, he will be leaving the NHL as maybe one of the dumbest players in the history of the game for his recent antics.

This move is like when INXS replaced their front man Michael Hutchence with that Canadian guy that looked like a bug.

The fact is this move doesn't make Vityaz Podoslk any better, and it makes me question my reasons for liking hockey.

I think it's time I got on the Kobe Bryant bandwagon and started watching the NBA.