Let me preface this by saying that this is really an article about my feelings towards the absolute abomination that was the Cena-Orton match, but it's disguised as a pseudo-recap of SummerSlam.
In what was supposed to be the biggest event since Wrestlemania, SummerSlam delivered some memorable moments.
Sadly, there were both good and bad memorable moments.
To begin at the top of the card, the WWE is severely trying to push over Dolph Ziggler as a upper mid-card talent. It isn't hard to see that "Nicky" is the most talented Spirit Squad member, but the character is just a bore.
Rey Mysterio is a master of helping the younger talent look better, and he did so for a second straight pay-per-view. He took the brunt of the bumps, was beaten harshly, and barely snuck out with a win. Inevitably, this will probably be the last time he actually wins against Ziggler, before dropping the belt to him, and passing the torch on.
Next, we had MVP and Swagger putting on a decent match. MVP, in my opinion, is one of the best "young talents" the WWE has to offer. I was scared that we may see Swagger get put over in this match, only because he was pushed quickly on the ECW brand, and quickly shifted to Raw.
Next up, we had the match that some of the writers were saying would be one of the "matches of the night."
Remind me to never trust the writers!
I'm a huge Cryme Tyme fan, but knew they weren't going to get put over Big Show and Jericho simply because Vince is in man-love with the two. With Jericho, I understand, but with the Big Show, I haven't the foggiest clue.
The match was solid up until the ending. When the Big Show decided he was going to "punch" people as a finishing move, it honestly gave me the deuce chills. It's equally as horrendous of a finisher as the "patented leg drop" by Hulk Hogan. Having Show come out of nowhere, punch JTG, and end the match was a cop-out if I ever saw one.
Could the writers just not think up a good way to end the match? Did they script the ending right before dashing to lunch? It was disgusting!
Let's follow up disgusting with the match I give the honor of "Honorary Divas Match of the Night," or "Quick, Run to the Restroom Now Match," Kane and Khali.
All I can say is...It was short, bad, and thankfully not pushed as a huge match for the night. Why couldn't this have stayed on network TV instead?
Now comes the match I was anticipating most: The return of DX!
The entrance DX had was stellar. The fact they got to roll in on a tank, and it was a little different from normal, gave me a glimpse into DX 2.0.
The match with Legacy was actually quite good. Legacy, for once, looked very well off against DX, and the two teams worked well with one another. The ending was solid, and even though everyone knew DX would win, the match still had a hint of "zOMG!" mixed in.
The second greatest match of the night was the ECW Championship. It lasted three seconds, and Christian won. Nothing more to say! I loved it!
Next up is the match that will forever be remembered as one of the absolute worst matches of all time!
Cena and Orton have fought time and time again. We've seen Cena win, we've seen Orton win, but wow...the way the writers decided this match should end shows me someone deserves to be fired, even if it's Vince himself!
To begin with, the match was fairly decent. Both guys were getting their shots in.
Sounds good, right?
Then as Cena gets an upper hand, Orton pushes the referee to get disqualified, but keep the title.
When have we seen that before?
Now, mass chaos ensues!
Lillian quickly hops up and announces "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and new WWE Champion, Randy Orton!"
First off, Orton was the champion going into this match, and secondly, he is the one who pushed the ref!
Oh, wait...Lillian has more to say! She announces that Mr. McMahon has ordered this match restarted, and if Orton gets disqualified again, he loses the belt.
At this point, this match hasn't gone down the tubes yet.
Orton returns to the ring, and the two begin fighting again. This time, as Cena gets the upper hand, low and behold, Orton runs out of the ring and is counted out!
Cue Lillian! She announces that the match will be restarted once again. This time, if Orton is counted out, he loses the belt.
I now saw what was beginning to happen!
Upon this restart, the two collide, Orton scores a quick roll-up, props his feet on the ropes, and wins!
I think I'm going to throw up!
A second referee comes darting to the ring to say Orton cheated to win, and the match would...yep you guessed it, be restarted!
As this final restart happened, we saw Orton slowly getting ready to tap, and then out of the blue some fan...ahem...brother of Ted DiBiase Jr., attacked the referee. It caused enough of a distraction for Orton to snap Cena's neck on the rope, and jump in to deliver the RKO.
This had to have been the biggest atrocity of a match since the infamous "Montreal Screwjob." The writing was terrible, the restarts were terrible, Vince should honestly have every penny he earned for Summer Slam taken away and returned to the consumer for this match alone. It was that bad!
Thankfully, the last match of the night made up for it somewhat. Punk and Hardy gave plenty of "HOLY $#!7" moments, and the switch-a-roo between Hardy and the Undertaker post-match was pretty cool, and kind of creepy, with the camera angle they used.
All-in-all, and with the exception of that one match, SummerSlam was a decent event, but that one match left such a sour taste in my mouth, Vince better do a lot to make up for it.