How To Utilize Dallas' New Jumbo Tron

The low hanging, massive jumbo tron at the Dallas Cowboys’ new stadium was hit by a punt last night. Tennessee coach Jeff Fisher (whose punter hit the jumbo tron) said the giant video screen could be a problem on punts.

Dallas owner Jerry Jones was hilariously dismissive of the problem (from the AP report):

“If your desire is to punt the ball straight up and hard, I can do that,” Jones said, according to the Dallas Morning News. “The height that we’ve got it wouldn’t [affect] normal kicks unless somebody just wanted to hit it.”

By rule in football, the play is ruled dead if a punt hits some thing above the field of play. The down is then re-played, meaning, Jones is not being far sighted if he does not see a possible problem.

Here is my list of inventive ways to use this new jumbo tron to your team’s advantage:

• Tired defense? Has your defense been on the field the whole game and now, after another three-and-out series by the offense, you’re worried about their stamina? Well, give them a rest by having your punter hit the scoreboard 20 times in a row.

• Screwed by a NFL ruling? Has the NFL recently ruled against your franchise in, say, a salary cap dispute? Then there’s no better way to get back at them than turning a prime time game against American’s team into a seven hour marathon where networks will have no chances to run commercials. Tell your punter to hit the scoreboard, on purpose, for two straight hours.

• Worried a fake punt won’t catch the defense by surprise? It will if you hit the jumbo tron for 17 straight attempts and then, out of no where, just have the long snapper run it up the middle on attempt 18.

• About to be sacked? Have your quarterback throw it straight up at the jumbo tron. They can’t call “intentional grounding”, if you’ve thrown it straight up, right?