Roethlisberger Injury Means Christmas in RavensTown

Truth be told, if Ben Roethlisberger played for any team other than the Pittsburgh Steelers, I’d probably like him a lot. He plays hard, keeps his public douchebaggery to a tolerable minimum, and wins.

On the other hand, it’s his propensity to spin out of tackles that usually costs my team heartbreak and anger, which Ravens' fans then spill out into the streets of Baltimore in a violent and rage-laden display.

So on that note, it is with great pleasure that I deliver Christmas back to the football-loving citizens of Charm City. Ben Roethlisberger is injured, and it’s not clear what effect it will have on the start of the Pittsburgh Steelers’ season.

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Roethlisberger had an ice pack on the back of the ankle when he was carted off at the end of Thursday’s workout, with offensive coordinator Bruce Arians accompanying him. Roethlisberger didn’t talk to reporters, but he could be overheard saying, “Oh it just feels great. It feels like a car ran over it.”

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You say a car ran over it, bro? That’s a shame. Why don’t you sit out a while, focus on the rape charge everyone forgot about, and have a few Yeunglings. In the mean time, we’ll play like Ravens, advance to the Super Bowl, and shatter the dreams of Steel City yokels who foolishly thought you to be invincible.

Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

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