Hot Stove Player of the Week: Derek Jeter
What’s next? Donning tribute uniforms to the 1996 Yankees?
Those circa-1905 unis did grow on me, though. Maybe they should play a throwback game instead of just sporting the uniforms (which should be made of wool, with the old itchy socks and collars that the Giants wore), with dirty baseballs, spitballs, big-handled bats, little gloves, no helmets... well, on second thought, maybe not.
All week was like one big throwback party, with beanballs, the Mets unis, the Mets scoring eight runs in one inning (a throwback to when they were good), the Yankees having the best record in baseball, Gary Sheffield being unhappy with his contract, the 1969 Mets celebration tomorrow and the 40th anniversary of Woodstock all over the news.
The most poignant moment of the rock festival came when the owner of the farm (Max Yasgur) on which the concert took place came out on stage to say a few words to the peace-loving hippies: “I’m only going to tell you more time—would you filthy kids get the hell off my damn lawn!”
The Yankee Captain’s double on Sunday (appropriately an opposite-field hit) moved him past Luis Aparicio as the all-time hits leader for shortstops. He was sizzling hot all week, batting .600, with 15 hits, five RBI’s and three runs scored. What else is there left to say about him?
On the field, he’s a surefire Hall-of-Famer, and we all know about his off-the-field Page Six lifestyle, but not many people know that he often communes with the spirit of Phil Rizzuto—who, of course, always talks back:
"Holy cow, Jeter, you won’t believe who I met here in heaven. They even let National Leaguers up here. Unbelievable! I was playing my harp the other day . . . well, they don’t really have days up here – it was a song that Cora always liked, I can’t remember the name of it, ‘Take me Past the Moon’? ‘Send the Cow Over the Moon’? . . . something about flying . . . I always hated airplanes, scared me to death – what was I talking about? Oh yeah. I’m playing my harp when that huckleberry Murcer sneaks over and gives me a wedgie. Can they do that in heaven? Holy cow! I didn’t even know what a wedgie was! I didn’t even know I was wearing underwear! Can you believe that?! The next time I see that Murcer I’m going to kill him!”
He only threw four passes (and completed three) in his pre-season debut on Friday, but the first one was a 48-yard bomb. “Broadway” Mark gets the start on Monday vs. the Ravens.
The ace of the Yankees staff threw eight innings while only letting in two runs in their win over the A’s on Tuesday. After A-Rod was hit by a pitch, Sabathia retaliated and threw behind Kurt Suzuki.
The Oakland catcher then blasted a home run. The exact same thing happened to Johan Santana against the Giants—the ball must have slipped out of their hands because of all the chipotle cheesesteak drippings on them.
Even the Mets get a walk-off win now and then. Murphy provided the heroics on Sunday.
He’s up. He’s down. This week, he was up, pitching 7.1 innings and only allowing two runs on five hits, with five K’s and one walk on Sunday vs. San Francisco.
He’s back and pitched a one-two-three inning—just in time for the Mets to trade him.
Staten Island South Shore Little Leaguers
The real heroes of New York baseball are headed to the Little League World Series. Good luck!
Schmucks of the Week
Where do we begin? We could divide them into a Former New York Players division and Present New York Players division. We could divide them into a Criminals division and Just Plain Boneheads division. Anyway, here we go.
We have Brett Favre subjecting himself to another team, Plaxico Burress heading off to prison, Nate Robinson getting arrested for having an expired driver’s license and trying to get out of it by playing the “I’m a pro athlete” card (real life transcription: “I’m Nate Robinson from the Knicks.” “Ok, Nate Robinson from the Knicks, you’re under arrest.”), Livan Hernandez (who was released yesterday because the Mets “wanted to go in another direction”—but if that direction is leading to Tim Redding, does anybody really want to go there?) and Bobby Parnell getting absolutely lit up, Frankie Rodriguez blowing more games, Luis Castillo inexcusably not covering second on a routine force out and Gary Sheffield not being happy with his contract situation—again. Whew.
What is the duplicate article?
Why is this article offensive?
Where is this article plagiarized from?
Why is this article poorly edited?